Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Should it stay or should it go?
I seem to have grown a beard.Since getting ill the bic razor was far too heavy to lift and the bathroom seemed a far and distant land, so beardy I became.I have grown quite attached to my hairy chin and it has literally grown quite attached to me,it will be the hedgetrimmers I'll be needing to shift it, but should I? I thought it made me look ruggedly handsome and covered up most of my face which has to be a bonus, but Mrs EEjit is keen for it to go and my confidence in it's appeal was further knocked by a neighbour who rather charmingly said my face looked like a hedgehogs arse.Except that he didn't say arse but this is a family show and I'm not repeating what he did say. I know one or two of my lady blogpals sport beards so maybe I should join them.I'm trying to think of other great beardy people down the years but am struggling.Hemmingway had a beard but I don't know many other writers that opted for the face fungus.In these recessionary timesI'm also thinking of the cost factors and heat saving. Not only could a beard save me money it might aslo keep me warmer in the winter. I buy a six pack of bic imitations for €2 roughly every 2 months so that would be a saving of €12 per annum straight away, factor in the cost of hot water and shaving foam and that saving rises to €15, or to put it another way, 3 pints of Guinness and a packet of Tayto.Then there's the time factor, shaving takes about 5 minutes per day x 365 days of the year = roughly 30 hours! By having a beard I would get an extra 30 hours in bed! That's pretty cool.I further reckon that if I stop brushing my teeth, cutting my toenails, washing, cutting my hair, changing clothes,wiping my backside ,that 30 hours leaps up to a massive 336 hours,that's a whole feckin fortnight!! Imagine another two weeks holiday every year and you could be drunk every day of the week on the money saved.Come on everybody, let's go for it, the whole worldwide downturn in the economy could be reversed by these few simple steps, global warming would be a thing of the past, summers would be summers again, love and peace would spread like the bacteria in our undercrackers, all mankind's problems (except B.O) would be a thing of the past.You KNOW it makes sense.