Sunday, January 31, 2010

The draw of the century


Will take place tomorrow (weather permitting) in the absence of any bribes/brown envelopes being offered (ye all feckin disappoint me sometimes) a legitimate draw will be made in the presence of an official representative from The Board Of Big Hats And Little Pieces Of Paper With Names On (South East sub division). This will ensure fair play. (My arse!) All names will be put into the hat and TWO will be picked out, the lucky winners will each receive a signed copy of Nuala Ní Chonchuír's ( http://womenrulewriter.blogspot.com/ ) fantastic book Portrait of the Artist with a Red Car.


To further ensure fair play this event will be filmed live and then posted on my blog. Don't miss it.Forget Kennedy being shot, Elvis dying, Tipp winning the 2001 All Ireland Final, one day people will ask you where you were when you saw 'The Big Draw'

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Nooley Hooley Prize Draw !!


I'm making a list

I'm checking it twice

matters not a jot

if you are naughty or nice

the Nooly Holey prize draw, draws near!


Midnite tonite is the deadline poppickers.Ya gottabe in it to win it (a copy of Nuala Ní Chonchúirs bossa nova book of poetry Portrait of the Artist with a Red Car.) Read it and it'll have your heart mind and soul dancin in the margins of mythopoeia. I am the mystagogue ,I am the Walrus, I wouldn't guide ye wrong.

So get yer comments into me box and yer names into the hat and one of two copies of the books into the post.At midnite I turn into a pumpkin.



Thanks a million to Nuala for the interview and for the book giveaway and spoecial thanks to each and every one of ye out there in blogglobe that took the time to join in either with a vist a comment or a poem. You am all the best!

Thursday, January 28, 2010

On The Road With Nuala




On the road with Nuala Ní Chonchúir.
Here's the second poem from her collection Portrait of the Artist with a Red Car I chose it, not because it's my favourite ( that's 'Dancing with Paul Durcan') but because it has great power audacity and brutal honesty that is almost shocking, a real hit of Espresso that wakens you up to the journey and treat that is to follow.


Turning


I lied to my husband
and the lie lay like ashes
dry-burning my tongue,
and my tongue was like
Judas, going over to
the wrong side,
and the wrong side
was like joy-it was joy-
and I had to linger there,
like a woman split in half.
So I lingered long there
like a harem-bound girl,
and,in the end, the wrong side
became the right side,
and my true joy.

Well it’s a beautiful day here and top writer Nuala Ní Chonchúir is here in her (imaginary) Red Mini Cooper. We’re going to be going for a scenic drive and talking about the world of women’s poetry and her lovely new book Portrait of the Artist with a Red Car, a book I’ve read and really enjoyed Follow us up the road in your own car. We’ll have a picnic at The Mottee stone just outside Avoca (Ballykissangel) Co. Wicklow. Cook has prepared a champagne hamper for every guest and Jimmy the Butler will take us back to the castle for the night in the helicopter, so don’t worry about drinking and driving. You’ll all be ferried back to your cars in the morning. It was a tough choice of car for me but the precondition of it being red narrowed it down a bit, I plumped for my 1995 McLaren F1 GTR over the ’62 Ferrari GTO by virtue of the extra seat in the F1 for the champers. Anyways run what ya brung and meet us at the Mottee.
Hello Nuala and you are most welcome to The Peeps Republo D’EEjit.

Thanks TFE, for having me over to yours. I feel like I should be singing; ‘On the road again la la la...’ Must be the thought of the Bolly going to my head.

I really liked reading your latest poetry collection ‘Portrait of the Artist with a Red Car’ It was beautiful and raw and honest and sad and shocking and sensuous and euphoric. Clearly the title is some kind of nod or kick towards Joyce, yet women get very little recognition in the pantheon of Irish literature, perhaps Edna O’Brien being the closest to acceptance. And yet for me women seem to be blazing a trail of late, particularly in poetry, and in England Carol Ann Duffy has been made the first female poet laureate. I feel things have changed, I hope things have changed. Is this the case and how easy is it to be a full time writer and a full time woman?

I’m glad you enjoyed the poems, TFE.
I think things have changed in ways – more women are now being published – but also that the patriarchy we still live under means women are up against it more than men in pretty much every area. Men’s writing is used as the yardstick for ‘real’ writing often. It’s totally irritating. But women are making their mark – we are getting more determined!
Being a full time writer is the fulfilment of my dream and I love it. I got tons written when I just had my two boys but since the arrival of my baby daughter last May I get less and less done. Luckily between last and this year, 4 books I have written since 2003 are being published. So the pressure is off me to produce work and I am in a promotional phase. That’s easier when also trying to juggle 3 kids and family life. The actual writing takes a lot of quiet time and I don’t have that just now.
As regards Carol Ann, she is the first female poet laureate in its 400 year history. It’s great but it’s taken a hell of a long time despite there having been legions of fantastic women poets across the centuries.
I wasn’t thinking of Joyce when I chose the title of the title poem, rather an anecdote told to me about Brian Bourke’s painting ‘Self-Portrait with Red Ear’ being misheard by Bob Quinn as ‘Self-Portrait with Red Car’. Convoluted, I know...For even less clarity see here: http://conamara.org/index.php?page=self-portrait-with-red-car

The term ‘Confessional poetry’ has of late been used as a sniffy term of disdain and yet for me so called confessional poetry is the only poetry of any real value. How do you feel about this?

Maybe the sniffy people have no hearts! Or no self-awareness. Or maybe they didn’t get enough love in their childhoods...
God, who is anyone to dictate to another poet what they should or should not write about? I get totally peed off with old codgers banging on about how we all should be writing political poetry. Being a woman writer in the world today is political – you have to fight your corner. Many of my poems are completely political because they are from a feminist perspective. Old codgers tend to hate when I say that too!
I love all kinds of poetry: the overtly political, the cruel, the confessional, the historical narrative, the formal, the free. It just so happens that my poetry is born very much of my personal life. My fiction comes from a very different place – a place where I am free to invent and imagine.
Give me a heartfelt, moving poem about broken love from a man or a woman and I will probably prefer it to one where the narrator is distant from the events/he is describing.

You are a very prolific and hard working writer, Nuala, including doing reviews, writing short stories and poetry, and a soon-to-be-released novel. By dint of this, you have attained a level of prominence and regard and were one of the prestigious Irish Times people to watch in 2009. You’ve managed all this while remaining grounded and approachable. Does having a young family help in this regard and do you feel the weight of expectation on your shoulders? Does this affect the way you write and what are your (literary) hopes and dreams?

First and foremost I am a Mammy and partner because my kids are young. The bulk of my day is spent cooking, minding kids, doing school runs, tidying (har har – I do very little) etc etc. I chose to have my kids, so I am not moaning.
Writing is an extension of my personality – I couldn’t go on without it and my brain is always in writing mode. I grab writing time when and where I can. I was complaining to my Ma recently about not having proper time to write anymore and she said ‘Why not give it up for a while?’ I was fuming. She might as well have told me not to breathe.
I don’t feel any weight of expectation – I don’t think many people know me really. There is only room in the media for a handful of well-known writers at a time in Ireland and I’m not one of them.
The only one weighing me down is me; I am very hard on myself and I work a lot because I want my writing to get better and better.
Literary hopes and dreams? I’d love a good critical and audience reception for my first novel You, due out in April. I’d love to get a windfall so I could buy a few hours a week in a crèche for Baby. I’d like to earn at least the minimum wage from writing so I could stop worrying about money. I’d love a dynamic agent – if any are reading, contact me!

TFE, thanks so much for having me here today. The champers has gone straight to my head so I am going for a little lie down in the grass over there. Wake me when the helicopter comes!-- http://www.nualanichonchuir.com/http://womenrulewriter.blogspot.com/
No problo Nuala and thanks a million for including the castle on your 'Portrait' tour.You are the perfect guest and are welcome back anytime.I enjoyed your answers and was amazed how quickly, easily and naturally you came up with them.I love your book and wish you every success with it and all your future literary endeavours.Pip pip!
And now more hooleyness! Startng with....

Niamh (Espresso to go) Bagnell, radio star/writer/performance poet,has hers up already, so come on! http://variouscushions.blogspot.com/2010/01/i-cant-be-waiting-till-friday-monday.html




Dom (Rip it up)Rivron's roaring and rearing to go!
http://dominicrivron.blogspot.com/2010/01/red-car.html



Undeluded ( all singing) Argent http://argent-delusionsofadequacy.blogspot.com/2010/01/get-in-da-red-car-and-follow-that-bus.html




Peter(Looking out for the Gards) Goulding http://stammeringpoet.blogspot.com/2010/01/red-car.html



Swiss( There's nothing cheesy about me) er, Swiss http://travelsinthefloatingelvis.blogspot.com/2010/01/tfes-red-bus-poem.html

and more here..
http://travelsinthefloatingelvis.blogspot.com/2010/01/another-red-car.html


(Shh! It's a secret) Karen
http://keepingsecrets-karen.blogspot.com/2010/01/red-car.html



Kat (I got the cream) Mortensen AKA Poetikat
http://hyggedigter.blogspot.com/2010/01/driving-out-to-noolys-hooley-at-eejits.html



Willow's got the bug
http://willowmanor.blogspot.com/2010/01/red-car.html





(Where old cars go to die) Junkthief
http://junkthief.blogspot.com/2010/01/some-notch-along-curled-road.html



Jeanne (Chirpy Jeep Jeep) Lakatos
http://revolutionaryrevelry.blogspot.com/2010/01/red-car-poetry.html



(Blast from the past )Pure Fiction
http://fictionalfictionwriter.blogspot.com/2010/01/red-car.html

(

Where would we be without) Rachel Fox
Not only a written poem
http://crowd-pleasers.blogspot.com/2010/01/anti-phallic.html

but also our first entertainer! Yippeee!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25PnlL5_EQI

(Call the fire brigade it's )Heather

http://raggedoldblogger.blogspot.com/2010/01/bit-of-nonsense.html

Titus

http://titusthedog.blogspot.com/2010/01/running-alongside-poetry-bus-tfe.html?showComment=1264729802955_AIe9_BGOQsutDDMSe4NZuPz4Y8jjUALX5_nJEJS-ICB0t0mwscxwy9q8kmbcSK6fRamuFQEENCWv3uL33IOjHmcqXaPD4Je2WpdjJxSX6tFJS7PsK9JvsU1VWdEx_chDFLTZjFFbX-nTtKhZHBndmRn-gmlsj4ikKN1HshecjOMX-ZI2--EYwLQjOllMMSpxiPVZpnBw9B8BRVX7lpG2vADuo85dKnun4Yehe6gyGj1xK0ijHn1tlPc#c6289102307391426852

(The Ton-up Queen) Weaver
http://weaverofgrass.blogspot.com/2010/01/hooley-with-nooley-day.html

(Those rascally) Watercats
http://thewatercats.blogspot.com/2010/01/eejits-red-car-post.html


(Sparkey) ArtSparker
http://artsparktheatre.blogspot.com/2010/01/fooling-robbers.html

(N'oubliez pas D'oub) Domestic Oubliette
http://domesticoubliette.blogspot.com/2010/01/poetry-bus.html

But from now on there will be no stopping THe POetry Bus.Poems every Monday and a printed magazine of the best poems 3 possibly 4 times per year. You KNOW it makes sense VOTE BUS!



In the meantime, see what all the fuss is about


Portrait of the Artist with a Red Car
it's a great book buy it here.... http://www.templarpoetry.co.uk/publications/protrait-of-the-artist-with-a-red-car.html




Or win a signed copy (two to be won) posted to anywhere on the globe with a letterbox, by posting a comment in me comments box for to be entered into a giant Tombola lottery draw type thing.Try and put RED CAR in yer comment but I know a lot of ye can't manage that, so I'll figures out if ye want in.




Live long and prosper, people of Earth.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

You're running outa time!


This is Wednesday, but by the time you read this it wil probs be Thursday which means your tomorrow is Friday which is Nooly Hooly day.We gots great pomes but we wants more and we ain't got no single poyson up on da 'You tube' making a jack ass outa demselves.We want YOU to do it! Come on read yer poem or sing a song or if ye canno manage that link yer favourite song/pome by some other feckin EEjit.I'm going to be singing that fave crooner toon 'My Way' made famous by old blue eyes himself Sud Vicious.If I gets time to recordo it.

Two, yes TWO, (this ain't no cheapskate enterprise) copies of Nuala Ní Chonchúirs brillo poetry book Portrait of the Artist with a Red Car (not to be confused with Madonnas Portrait of the Artist with a Red Bra) are up for grabs. (Be the way, Nuala is kindly letting me reproduce one of her poems here on my blog on Friday In the meantime find out more about her here... http://www.blogger.com/profile/07924947352624027079 )

As for the book competition, it's simple to win.Like reals easily peasily.No multiplo choice questos ,no rafflo tickets to buy (dough a brown envelo isn't outa da arena here, don't tell Nuala ) All s ya gotta do is put a comment in da commentario boxo, try and mention RED CAR if you can, but do no worro I'll figures if ye want in.Genius is as genius does. I'll put all the names into a hat and pull out TWO winners.
Also were having a Hooley.Starting with three questions for Nuala to answer. She is great at answering questos and full of life and opinions and ideas, she'd make a great writer.

Turn up in your (imaginary) RED CAR (Don't want any traffic jams at the castillo) or catch the(imaginary but virtual) Poetry Bus leaving Fitzgeralds bar in Avoca (Ballykissangel, remember dat?) 11am. All gather at The Mottee Stone in the worlds biggest heated transparent marquee where we will recite poetry and sing songs after munging through our champagne picnic hampers.There's a free bar (Mars) and further rustic buffet in the hooley tent.Ate and drink as much as you like.The Chinook Hooleycopter will take all safely back to the Castillo for a delicious nights slep.

All rooms are ensuite with mini bar and memory foam carpets.Complimentary slippers, sick bags, bathrobes and condoms will be provided. Breakfast is served from 8 am at the nearest Statyoil petrol station.

'And now the end is near
and so I face the shower curtain,
my friends I'll make it clear
I'm a total nutcase of that I'm certain.
I've lived just like a fool,
I've worked on each and every highway
and more , much more than this
I built a driiiive-way'

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

What's the word on the street, EEjit?


The word on the street ,Earthlings is frangipani. Don't ask me why, it's just one of those things.


Elsewhere in the world this Friday's guest to the Castle, Nuala Ní Chonchúir, has been shortlisted for the Willesden Herald Short Story Competition http://womenrulewriter.blogspot.com/


Everything she touches turns to gold so I'll be showing her my overdraft and credit card(shredded card?) when she comes to The Castle.


There's a masssive party happening here on Friday. (See previous posts for details)
First Nuala will be tormented by 3 potentially life altering questions then we will be tearing (or tootling, as is yer want) across the beawthifull Wickler countryside in our RED CARS for a picnic up in the wilds. It'll be all cucumber sandwiches, crack cocaine, poteen and Werther's Originals.


We will have entertainmet, we want entertainment, we want you, YES YOU! to post a poem without ,or preferably with ,the words RED CAR in it.We want you tube shenanigans of yourself reading yer poem or singing a song,it's hooley time get up and shake yer groove thang, clack your maracas, get up by getting down.

Turn up in a RED CAR as exotic or prosaic as you like. I'll be burning rubber(I've a strange prediliction for singed elastic)
in my hot red red hot McLaren F1.

Bring any guest you like.Liz is bringing Johnny Depp, Weaver is bringing Christy Moore(no better man, we'll be expecting a song or two from him)
Star guest Nuala will be looking cool in her Mini Cooper despite bringing Cliff Richard. (See warning sign at top of post)


If you don't want to drive, dee nae wurry.....

Einstein and his double, Zweistein, have fixed the Poetry Bus and we want you aboard regardless of age ,sex, size ,orientation, or colour.Even Kilkenny hurlers/ Liverpool fans are welcome. The bus is back and will be travelling each and every Monday from now on in, except next Monday cos we're going to Aldi. So it's actually travelling this Friday instead. We want yer poems now!


Niamh (Espresso to go) Bagnell, radio star/writer/performance poet,has hers up already, so come on! http://variouscushions.blogspot.com/2010/01/i-cant-be-waiting-till-friday-monday.html


Dom (Rip it up)Rivron's roaring and rearing to go!
http://dominicrivron.blogspot.com/2010/01/red-car.html


Peter(Looking out for the Gards) Goulding http://stammeringpoet.blogspot.com/2010/01/red-car.html
(

Shh! It's a secret) Karen


Kat (I got the cream) Mortensen AKA Poetikat


Willow's got the bug


(Where old cars go to die) Junkthief


Jeanne (Chirpy Jeep Jeep) Lakatos


(Blast from the past )Pure Fiction
(

Where would we be without) Rachel Fox
Not only a written poem
but also our first entertainer! Yippeee!


But from now on there will be no stopping THe POetry Bus.Poems every Monday and a printed magazine of the best poems 3 possibly 4 times per year. You KNOW it makes sense VOTE BUS!
In the meantime, see what all the fuss is about


Portrait of the Artist with a Red Car
it's a great book buy it here.... http://www.templarpoetry.co.uk/publications/protrait-of-the-artist-with-a-red-car.html


Or win a signed copy (two to be won) posted to anywhere on the globe with a letterbox, by posting a comment in me comments box for to be entered into a giant Tombola lottery draw type thing.Try and put RED CAR in yer comment but I know a lot of ye can't manage that, so I'll figures out if ye want in.


Live long and prosper, people of Earth.

Monday, January 25, 2010

THE POETRY BUS AND PRIZES !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




Were having a Hooley for Nooly. Next Friday Nuala Ní Chonchúir ( http://womenrulewriter.blogspot.com/ http://www.nualanichonchuir.com/ ) is visiting to celebrate her poetry book Portrait of the Artist with a Red Car


Everyone is invited but you must turn up in a RED CAR of your choice, the sky and your imagination are the limit.




Bring a famous guest or any guest and let us know. We're gonna have a sedate tootle through some beautiful Wicklow countryside then ask Nuala some questions about her poetry life and have a party. There's plenty of secure parking and Jimmy the Butler will ferry us back to the castle in the Chinook, so we can all get drunk as skunks.




Cook will have champagne hampers for every guest and there will be a vast (2 acre) inflatable see through marquee erected on the top of a hill encompassing the famous Mottee Stone landmark and providing 360 degree panoramic views of mountains and sea and heather.


There will be a free bar and buffet and a stage for live entertainment of music and poetry.If you want to be part of the entertainment just post a you tube clip in the comments box and I will put a link to it on the day.




Now if you don't want to drive then what better way to travel than on the newly refurbished BRIGHT RED Poetry Bus ably driven by Shirley Bassey. To get a trip on the bus you have to write a poem with the words RED CAR in it. Put it on yer blog and let me know in my commentsbox and I'll post links to them all as part of the day's festivities.




THERE WILL BE PRIZES!!




Nuala has kindly offered not one but TWO copies of her book as prizes. It's a beautiful, seeringly honest, shocking, sensuous, funny smorgesbord of brilliance. You'll love it.Write a poem as above or just post a message in my comments box with the words RED CAR in it and we'll put ye all into a huge hat and pull two of you out by the ears.The two lucky winners will receive personalised signed copies of Nuala's book.


The Poetry Bus will be leaving Fitzgeralds pub in Avoca at 11am, but if you want picking up from home (anywhere in the world) just let us now and Shirley will come and get ye.She might even sing while she drives.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

On The Road With Nuala




Ten four Rubber Ducks. Looks like we need to get ourselves a convoy! We're all heading up into the Wicklow hills to get ourselves a better view.Come and join us where the air is fresh and the grass is greener.Turn up here...x... next Friday 29th Jan.Bring any car you like so long as it's RED. We're celebrating Nuala Ní Chonchúirs latest poetry collection 'Portrait of the Artist with a Red Car' I'll be asking Núala three possibly lifechanging questions about herself and the state of woman's poetry.Bring a guest if you like,Cook will be preparing Champagne hampers (hampers with champers) for each and every one of you.We'll drive up to The Mottee stone through beautiful countryside (sunshine is guaranteed) and we'll have a picnic and a bit of a hooley.Don't forget your RED cars.

Friday, January 22, 2010

TOTALFECKINMELTDOWN


But me heads still frozen.Ha ha ha ha ha! Seven days to Nuala's visit and I'm cluckin like a Turkey on nChristmas Eve,questions ,questions questions.That is the question in question.Ha. Three little birds on a wire, Houston we have a prblem, ground control to Major Tom,Mork calling Orsen ,Come in Orsen ,your time is up and so nearly is mine.Three questions, where are they? Maybe I shopuld look behind the sofa. Nuala's here on the 29th, she's like a proper real writer, top notch,I love her books.The word pocket in me brain is empto,save for a marble an elastic band and a cough sweet, what use is that for questioning famous people? Car crash television comes to blogland, read all about it.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

What are we gonna do now?


As a blogger I'm dead in the water, an empty sack, an I can't even be bothered to find any more metaphors.My ink has run dry I'm a blogging (not so Supa) Nova that has burned a trail of blindingly brilliant mediocrity across the sky then gone PHUT! Like a damp firework. So I'm shutting up shop till the will to go on resurges.Could be minutes or years.


But before the blinds are pulled I have a special visitor to The Castle, writer Nuala Ní Chonchúir, will be coming over to answer 3 questions in honour of her poetry collection 'Portrait of the Artist with a Red Car' on Jan 29th.


It's a great book , searingly honest, jolting and beautiful and funny and sensual. Some people have a way with words, Nuala has -it-away with words !? A great writer of short stories she was an Irish Times Person To Watch in 2009, so we watched and she didn't disappoint with(among many things) these poems and her fabulous short story collection 'nude'


Her latest success is having her first novel published.It's called 'You' and is set in 1980's Dublin.I'm really looking forward to reading it.


Despite being a successfull writer Nuala took time to be the first to follow my blog and to offer advice and encouragement, so she's a nice person too, which is cool.


Check her blog out here... http://womenrulewriter.blogspot.com/


and her website here........ http://www.nualanichonchuir.com/home.php

Monday, January 4, 2010

Sparkey ArtSparkers latest Spark


"Confetti?" scoffed Grandpa. "Why, when I was a boy, we celebrated The New Year properly, with the time-honored tradition of travelling to The Himalayas armed with nothing but a pea shooter and a bottle of Tizer, then hunting down herds of Yetis, bagging a lively one , taking it home and marrying it. .....Ain't she still just so darned pretty?"


Alls we had to do was finish the Sparkey drawing then finish the caption "Confetti?" scoffed Grandpa. "Why, when I was a boy, we celebrated The New Year properly, with the time-honored tradition of.........


To join in (Go on, ya will, ya will, ya will, ya WILL!!) go here...

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Poems


The big I am


I am a kite flying

a priest lying

a Bank Manager crying

a tax dodger dodging

a vulture circling

a specialist panel beater beating


(I've never seen the opera)


I am a judge judging

a thief stealing

a cat laughing

a doer doing

a drunk drinking

a dead man walking





Through the round window


The engine roaring

the alarm wailing

the hard rain falling





Oh shite!


There's the finish line

I should have run slower

and with more style.






Three football chants re-written


1)

We are mankind

no-one likes us

we don't care


2)

You're gonna get your

ssia's cashed in!


3)

Bertie Ahern superstar

did he have a licence

when he drove the car?





Don't be


at it

stupid

rude

cheeky

late

rearing up on your bike like that

a stranger





Poor and content is rich enough: He had


A mother

a father

a sister

no brothers

his chances

a good innings




There is


Hope

a god

a hazelnut in every bite

at least seventy ways of skinning a cat

a point



Johhny was


Wrong

my best friend

a good man




At night


I used to hate the ticking clock

it reminded me I was going to die

Now I don't mind it so much

as it lets me know

I'm still alive





I am


Mad

Bad

Dangerous to know

Like Tony Healy

Depressed

A poet

Forever young

None of the above

One of the above

At it

On it

My own enemy

The one that got away





http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ndO72ZlR4uc