Thursday, October 29, 2009

Some performance poems



Really ,really something ,or other .



"A bing a bong a bing a bong
a bing a bong a bing
(speed up with jazz hands)
a bing a bong a bing a bong
(crescendo now)
bingiddy bong bingidyyyyy BOOOOng
(pause now for dramatic effect, gazing at the audience like Roy Keane spying Mick McCarthy in his local Waitrose)
do you!? "

Heroic Poet leaves stage like a mighty moral matador having stuck a thumb tack into a tethered mouse, greeted by rapturous applause and whoops and hollers from all his bestest friend in the audience.






A love poem Slam stylee


Argh-OOgah !
Argh-OOgah !
she's as swift as a cougar
she tastes just like nougat......
on my l-i-p-sss

Pattooby !
Pattooby !
I like her left booby
she sits in my scooby........
and. I feel .Her h-i-p-sss

She sees right through me
and thinks I'm a loony
behind the chipper......

she's taking a p-i-sss

I swear I would die
for the wink of her eye
And then my-oh-my
there's a cloud in the sky......

black thunder and h-i-sss
It. All. Comes.
Raining, raining, Down.Down
Like really down. Down.......
On. Me.
and I'm thinking,this is spiritual
this is residual.. shares
in the lock stocks and barrells of us...
dust is all we are, get back to
the car
the far away look
I read like a book
I know every nook
and cranny
of... her...face...
her face
her face
her face
her

40 comments:

Titus said...

I am laughing. Quite a lot.

Really liked this line;

"a bing a bong a bing a bong"

and I swear I could hear the second one.

ArtSparker said...

Late, late yestr'een
I saw the new moon
With the old moon in her arms
And I fear, I fear
My master dear
That we shall come to harm

--from the Ballad of Sir Patrick Spens

Sandra Leigh said...

You will be making a YouTube video, right? A performance poem demands a performance. So do your adoring fans.

Jeanne Iris said...

Bravo! Bravissimo! You are indeed the Slam Poetry Maestro of the Land of Eejit, Sir TFE.

Bottom of the Sixth inning, 2-1 Yanks! : )

I really needed to read this today, my friend.
Thank you! xoxo

willow said...

((giggles))I love the notion of her face having nooks and crannies. Fun one, Eej.

Rachel Fox said...

Brilliant. You are, indeed, the man. Really.

Get thee to youtube with these.

x

Niamh B said...

Yes TFE - you are a genius. Please do them sometime and put em up on youtube - complete with Jazz Hands.

Liz said...

TFE, am with Titus on this - could hear them all as plain as day...nothing like someone else's voice in head first thing Friday morning....augurs well for days ahead...
And the slight hint of innuendo worked a treat - no falling flat, all up and kicking...that poetry bus is no right-off... ; )

Karen said...

"I got rhythm, I got music
I got my man
Who could ask for anything more?"

Your poems have me singing - and lauging! Thanks for starting my morning thisaway.

the watercats said...

hhhmmm.. I think we could have a conflict of copyright on the word; "bing" and also "bong".. :-)
But we can forgive you, anything that includes a jazz hands gesture.
I agree.. a youtube performance.. it's a must!

Harnett-Hargrove said...

Thanks for the words and the brilliant staging notes! -Jayne

willow said...

Hey, Eej, is the Bus comin' round this week? You're not giving us much time to buy a ticket! :P

Rachel Fox said...

Look at you with the fan club of women! It's like a George Clooney fan convention or something...
x

Heather said...

You're in light-hearted mood TFE and it's contagious - thanks! I'm always nervous of performance poems unless I know them in advance. It would be awful to not appreciate one in the appropriate way and get a fit of the giggles. Thank goodness yours permits a fit of the giggles.

Totalfeckineejit said...

Took me ages to come up with that,Titus.Many, many seconds.tankx

Totalfeckineejit said...

must look that up Sparkey I likesthe sound of it

Totalfeckineejit said...

Do you know Sandra ,i think I will.Now how do you do that?

Totalfeckineejit said...

why tangxzs ye jeanne

Totalfeckineejit said...

tancxsze ye also willow

Totalfeckineejit said...

you tube is where i'm a headin' Foxy

Totalfeckineejit said...

yes mrs n, Iam indeed a proper genius not like that bus crashin fuckwit einstein

Totalfeckineejit said...

janey macaroni liz don't listen to the voices in the head for fex sake.I dd that once and ended up in casualty.I'm never licking the ice off the fridge again

Totalfeckineejit said...

all poit of da soivice karen

Totalfeckineejit said...

Watercats ,I'd completely forgotten about yer bing bong song for a minute,how could I?I do apologos

Totalfeckineejit said...

Rachel, George Clooney? Meh! Take the C way and he's nothing but a Looney

Totalfeckineejit said...

giggles is good Heather, go for it!

Rachel Fox said...

Weren't we just talking about lunatics too?
x

Mad Aunt Bernard said...

Clapping and standing up like Jack Nicholson in the Witches of Eastwick shouting 'Braviste! Braviste!'...
Love it! Eejitland has serious Cowbell!

Totalfeckineejit said...

Yes Rachel they crop up a lot

Totalfeckineejit said...

Sorry Harnett -Hargrove ,I missed ye there ( old age poor eyesight)Tanxz ye and wilkommen to mon humble ablog

Totalfeckineejit said...

HEEEre's JOHNNY! Sorry wrong film, auntie B. Tangxz ye for the cowbells though, now all I need is some cows.

Dominic Rivron said...

Like it! Sort of demented punk bonkers Edith Sitwell. (that's a compliment). :)

I picked up Facade in a charity shop LP box the other week - Edith Sitwell reading her poems to William Walton's classical efforts. I could imagine these read similarly, with a kind of orchestral accompaniment.

I thought "cranny" was going to rhyme with "granny", but then perhaps I was meant to...

KING OF THE CAMELS said...

you give my legs a headache
bong bing!

Sandra Leigh said...

Sorry, TFE, I just saw your response to my comment. Only problem is, I'm not sure what to tell you. I have uploaded a couple of videos, but it was a long time ago. I'll see what information I can find for you. I really would love to see you perform these poems.

Sandra Leigh said...

Oh, wait. I almost forgot what brought me here in the first place. Did we have an assignment for this week? If so, please remind me what it was. I would hate to miss the bus, but at this point, I have no idea what the fare is.

j. said...

I really like the last one.
quite honest feeling.
I usually don't like when people deem things as 'honest' because you never can know what the original intent and mindset of the artist was....but that being said, it moved me and seemed like a lot of feelings were held therewithin.

thank you for sharing.

Totalfeckineejit said...

Dominic I've been called and likened to a lot of people and things in my life ,but I have to say that Edith Sitwell is a first!

Totalfeckineejit said...

Hey King of the Kamelistas, you give my headache legs!

Totalfeckineejit said...

No assignment this week Sandra , but the bus will be back in some shape or form in the future.And thanks for looking for help but I figured how to put stuff on 'Ya tube!' Took a whole day but sure faint heart etc :)

Totalfeckineejit said...

Tankxs J and if you look real close in da U tube clip you might see a cool picture!