Friday, July 10, 2009

More woeful William





Under bare Brenda Mullen's head

In Drumcliffe Churchyard I got laid

a red ant bit her rectum there

ten minutes ago, plum on the rear,

By the feck that made her cross,

a warble,an unmentionable phrase;

I thought I had hit the old G spot

that's because I was half-cut


cast a beedy eye

on her, on me.

Tourist, pass by!

24 comments:

The Weaver of Grass said...

Your whole blog site seized up with shock - I got half way through this "poem" and it wouldn't go any further. However, I really wanted to see the end, so I waited until it settled down. Seems to me there are some funny goings on in Irish Churchyards. I went in one once because I had a phase when I was mad on wax flowers under glass domes (yes - I know it's a funny craze, but women are funny creatures as I am sure you know from your antics in the poem) - the churchyard was full of them (wax flowers not "goings on".

John Hayes said...

Just call you "butter," 'cuz you're on a (Yeatsian) roll.

BarbaraS said...

Sure everyone knows that graveyards are where ye go to get a bit of the other... ;)

I see you're determined to have ould Willie spinning in his grave! :)))

ArtSparker said...

This is quite a lively poke in the old coffin...so to speak.

Totalfeckineejit said...

Bloggy Gremlins ,hey,Weaver? I sense some 'beyond the grave' machinations.Lots of funny goings on ,go on ,in graveyards and by coincidence when we were perusing our relatives graveyard i chanced upon a (to me) most interesting domed tribute(not sure if it had waxy flowers-must check) of which i took a photo and will try to post sometime.
Ps. All women are wonderful creatures, especially the funny ones :)



Hello ,John, William 'Butter' Yeats, I like it !

Totalfeckineejit said...

Well, B, me auld Willie was spinning that day anyways :)

Thanks Artsparker, yes people are forever poking about in graveyards,life and death I guess, perhaps even 'la petit mort' as the French say :)

Heather said...

An English tourist would pretend not to have seen you. Couldn't you find a more comfortable venue for your coupling?

The Lesser Weevil said...

Doesn't that serve you right for being naughty in a grave yard?

By the way, where DID you buy the red ant - I want one!

Totalfeckineejit said...

Hello, Heather,no, unfortunately my brother had borrowed the Datsun that day. :)

Hello, Weevil, the red ant was just one of natures gifts. :)

Niamh B said...

another work of genius

Niamh B said...

The cake is on it's way

Totalfeckineejit said...

Mrs Niamh, I like carrot cake best and if you could pour a skinny latte into the envelope too that would be splendidooferous.By the way, the (lost) suitcases are still on the carousel of ambivalence at knock airport.

the watercats said...

wwwwoooo hhhohoooooo!.. Can't say I've ever had a fumbling in a graveyard... have to say, that's a feckin lovely photo! Is there a green filter on it or something? Or is it just the lovely oirish light?...

Niamh B said...

I had to throw out an old suitcase only yesterday, it was a cheapy one and had just the one wheel for the last 6 months, and was wearing through the cardboard inside the material that covered it, and it was getting embarrassing cos you could follow a little trail of cardboard bits to me, and well, it's weird that you mention suitcases today after that...

Jeanne Iris said...

Graveyard? Really?

Cow pasture's much better. However, if you don't lay a covering on the ground, you end up with 'terimish' (new wv).

Totalfeckineejit said...

Hi watercats,a fumbling is a good and usually acurate euphemism.Photo has been picassa'd (a free download from google,good but be warned it lost about 6k photos on me !)glad ye liked it :)

Totalfeckineejit said...

There's no fazing ye ,Mrs Niamh, maybe your suitcase had been infiltrated by mice,you never know with wildlife where it will set up home. We had a herd of wildebeest in the hot press last winter.

Totalfeckineejit said...

Funnily enough, Jeanne, I did sleep the night in a cow field (alone apart from said cows)) one time.Well, I say sleep, but it was more a kind of passing out after a wedding(not mine TG) and I would have to agree that some kind of ground covering would be nice as I woke cold and damp with a terrible crick in my neck.Think I may have got a dose of terimish too :)

Laurie Cannon said...

Okay, you got me, I'm joining.
It's 7:30 Sunday morning
and I'm about to hop on my bike
and go - what? - biking.
You caught me first thing
and gave me a laugh -
no, two. But don't go tryin to
please me, now...just be you.

Totalfeckineejit said...

Hey, Laurie, welcome back! 7.30 sunday morning? Can't you sleep? No ,I will try to please you, but I'm a one trick pony,it's not the greatest trick but it's the only one I know hope you likes it :)

Poetikat said...

Good Lord! There must be some spinning going on!

Kat

Totalfeckineejit said...

Hey Kat ,when the world and people in graves stop spinning, it's time to get off.

Mad Aunt Bernard said...

Ah! Just as I suspected, you are a romantic soul. A Red Ant bite on the arse during jiggy-jiggy is a blessing from the gods. Lucky girl. Nothing comes near me to bite mine...

Totalfeckineejit said...

Yes,I am the last of the old romantics and as such I am sending a colony of red ants in the pigeon post today-get jiggy with it :)