Saturday, May 16, 2009

Fuck the Fish forget the O'Faolain, don't dig the Davy Byrne, shag the something beginning with S, the only awards worth a shite are D'EEjit awards.

Writer Nuala Ni Chonchuir dedicated hard working writer, poet goddess,editor, artist awarded me this in recognition of my prodigious bountiful kreativ (?) brilliance - and I'm going to pass it on.Here's how you do it:
1. Post the award on your blog and link to the person who gave you the award.
2. List seven things you love. So...
1. Myself
2. Hurling(C'mon Tipp,there's more than one way to skin a cat ,but any way ,don't spare the timber)
3. Getting drunk.Not being drunk.Getting drunk may be like getting on the last train to Clarksville, but being drunk is definitely the worse thing in the world ,the pits, the ultimate cul-de-sac.Even being sober is better, coz at least then you can get drunk.
4. Tea and toast
5. Saturday's Irish Times crossword
7. Sleep (Oh, so elusive)
Finally,pass it on! List seven blogs you love and let those people know you’ve given them the award.Here are my Kreativ Blogger Award recipients!:
Dominic Rivron already has this award but sure feckit
Susan Sonnen wrote a poem for each and every day in April
Mad Aunt Bernard, crazier than a box of frogs
Pure fiction,what is going on in her deceased aunts mysterious world?
If this award was designed for anyone it was designed for Heather
She may have recently recently got married but this award is much more important
And with one award left and two candidates left DAEEjit flips the coin into the air, it climbs and rises and spins and peaks high out of the kitchen skylight and apart from wondering if I'll ever get me feckin euro back, I'm thinking,Heads for Jeanne 'Tails' for Kat( - ha ,ha ,naturally) then (thank god) the coin re-enters EEjit atmosphere plummeting downwards, then the deciding moment as the coin lands forcefully onto the kitchen table and starts spinning and flipping, spins heads tails heads tails heads tails, no, heads, no ,tails ,then it lifts and rolls and falls onto the floor still spinning heads then tails then heads then hits one of cooks discarded toenails and unbelievably comes to rest in a sticky patch of marmalade spat out at morning breakfast(when the feck else would you be having brekkers?) and incredibly the coin is bolt upright on its edge, neither head nor tails- a draw, or more accurately 2 winners which makes 8 in all instead of 7 but I is King and can do wot da fecks I likes.So 2 more Kreativs kreated, Kome on down!
Poetikat-more awards than Seamus Heaney
Jeanne Iris Lakatos-Hungarian locksmith of the mind


Poetikat said...

We have so much in common TFE! (Well, maybe not Hurling - you do mean the sport, right?)
I LOVE tea and toast! Oh, and Sleep is right at the top of my list. I love crossword puzzles (is it cryptic)?
You're right - Dominic deserves this award again. (I already have it too, by the way) so I understand why you didn't give it to me. (*kidding*)
I'm up to my elbows in 'em already. (*kidding* sort of).

I'm sure you'll be getting more. I've got a few that might be coming your way. (They are a bit of a double-edged sword, really - nice to receive, but a pain in the arse to pass on. If truth be told, they are hard work, really.)

So, thanks for not including me and too bad for Dominic!


Totalfeckineejit said...

Cryptic are ye mad?It's the simple one for me.Simple is as simple does.I could no more do a cryptic crossword than plait snot.I knew you already had hundreds of awards so thought I'd spread them out a bit.Isn't tea and toast just the best meal in the world, or toasted bagel? Sleep is the most delicious of all, I rarely sleep but when I do it's gorgeous.We have a hammock and one day the sun actually shone here but with a cool breeze and I'd had a few drinks and fell asleep in the afternoon and that really is hard to beat.Awards are hard work, I'm happy enough just having my fellow bloggers leaving comments now and then.That means a lot :)

Anonymous said...

Shucks! I'm honored. :) And to receive this award from the King of Kreativ himself - wow!
Your blog always delights me, TFE. I thank you for keeping up with mine.


Niamh B said...

Wow - overwhelmed and delighted to accept my first historic blog award! Will cut honeymoon short to come home in time for the ceremony - when's the ceremony? Will there be free wine?

Thanks a mill!

Jeanne Iris said...

um...TFE...I see only six recipients.

Flip a coin: Heads it's mine; Tails it's Kat's.


Dominic Rivron said...

Thanks for the second KB award! I've just spent the last few minutes checking out the other blogs you've nominated - an interesting lot.

Is a box of frogs that crazy? I had one once. It seemed quite sane to me. :)

Poetikat said...

Right! Didya do this after I said it was hard work, or before? Huh?
Fess up!
I love marmalade too!

Yup. I'll take it. LMAO on the Heaney bit, by the way.

Ta very much!


Glad you liked the Preakness poem.

Poetikat said...

Oh, and I'm happy to share this with Jeanne Iris. (I must get over to hers one of these times.)


Jeanne Iris said...

TFE...such drama! such intrigue! such tears in me eyes from the joy you bring!

A big Go raibh maith agat! to ya...

wv of the day: citringt: when one sits out on a summer's eve, surrounded by the glow of a citronella candle flickering in the warm breeze, the aroma and atmosphere, free of flying creatures, leaves one 'citringt.'

Heather said...

Thankyou so much TFE for my award. I am very flattered that you think I deserve it. I too love tea and toast - real comfort food - and word puzzles. Sneezing is good and I am fortunate to get enough sleep. In fact, if I could do with less I'd get a lot more art work done. I wonder if this is a good time to confess that I am Mad Aunt Bernard's mother - yes, really!

Totalfeckineejit said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Totalfeckineejit said...

You deserve it Susan and you're more than welcome,I think your poetry grows by the day, like a fragrant but thorny rambling rose,lovely.

Totalfeckineejit said...

Hey Niamh you're more than welcome.The awards ceremony is at The Gresham Hotel on the 32nd of May with a stellar line up of guests including Bono,Seamus Heaney and Daniel O'Donnell.Bring a bottle-and an award, and some money, no lots of money,this place doesn't come cheap ya ken?

Totalfeckineejit said...

Well spotted Jeanne and the award well deserved, see you at The Gresham!

Totalfeckineejit said...

You're welcome Dominic for your well deserved second KGB, sorry, KB, award.Why are boxes of frogs so maligned? (Mea Culpa)I am starting a campaign for the re-newal of understanding of the true nature of boxes of frogs forthwith.

Totalfeckineejit said...

Again Kat I think you're poetry grows better by the day and it's fun to go over to yours,you are so prolific-how do you do it?Marmalade is deadly on toast (as is honey) ut only the shredless stuff, if i wanted a chewy brekky I'd have bubblegum.Heaney aint got nuttin on ye!

Totalfeckineejit said...

Jeanne, you are most welcome.Drama intrigue tears joy-oh it's just like a Daniel O'Donnell concert or Ryan Turgidy inheriting the anchor slot of the 'late ,late'
(Ask in June) Oh how I wish I could be citringt,insteadof just feckin wet and cold.Oh lord ,will it ever stop raining?

Totalfeckineejit said...

Heather you are great, truly creative and thoroughly deserving of this award.Can't believe you are MAB's mother! Cool! Such a small world.I'm delighted that everyone seems to love tea and toast,forget caviar and champagne.Well don't forget them but remember that TandT is where its at.

Poetikat said...

Oh go on! Go on, go on, go on! Heaney indeed!

(Have I told ye I'm a Father Ted fan, by the way?)


Mad Aunt Bernard said...

A thousand thankyous and such a compliment from one so beautifully 'unhinged' - I am honoured.
How do I put it on my blog, please? I have scissors and glue at the ready....

Totalfeckineejit said...

Hey MAB,you're welcome.And there's at least a hundred ways of doing this but I'll only tell you the only two that don't involve either tug-of-war teams or murder.

Plan A.

Get the Kreativ blogger award up onto your computer screen,then get a big sharp axe and neatly hack it out, taking care not to kut the korners.Then after Karefully placing the logo in the desired position on your blog, get a bow and arrow, or preferably a crossbow and attach the logo securely by feckin a few arrows into it.

Plan B.

This a lot harder and i had to ask Poetikat for help.But I think you right click on the logo(with the mouse not your fingers-obviously-and when I say 'mouse' i don't mean a furry white thing,unless of course your computer mouse IS a furry white thing ,in which case i do ,er, mean that?)then save it as a picture in your picture files and then when you blog it can be added as a picture to your post.

Personally I'd stick with plan A but it's up to you entirely

Totalfeckineejit said...

Ps, you may experience one ,some or all,of the following; temporary blindness,hallucinations, diaorrhea, scabies, an addiction to maltesers,death.Do not worry ,this is all perfectly normal and if you do experience any difficulty during this process do not hesitate to contact someone who may know what the feckin hell I'm talking about.

Mad Aunt Bernard said...

Fanku! I posted my award successfully, cutting it out with an axe like you said. I think my computer might be on the blink though - I will take both halves to PC world and see what they say. Blessings and Warts.