Wednesday, April 1, 2009


Okay, so there was Lozenge but that was only a pararhyme -close,but no cigar.Fear not my friends I bring goodly news ,especially for all you rhyming poets out there struggling with a fruity ode. According to 'New Scientist magazine' we will shortly have a more potentially 'everyday' household word - 'The Borange'.

Cuban scientists ,after a decade of genetic research, have finally managed to combine a banana with an orange.Big deal ye might cry, a mushy mishapen hybrid no doubt ,but No ,for here's the clever bit that took so long , the fruit looks and peels exactly like an orange but inside are alternating segments of pure orange and pure banana ! How cool is that? And there's more! An orange has 11 segments so is difficult to divide in half, the mighty Borange however has 12 segment,six banana and six orange-Perfecto!

The whole project was the brainchild of an Saudi Arabian oil sheik who got the inspiration from an American hamburger joint that used mayonnaise and tomato ketchup squeezed out in stripes from a single tube.How wonderful it would be, he thought ,to combine his two favourite fruits.He then commisioned 3 leading fruit geneticists to work on the project.The only downside is that thus far the Borange trees have only produced 5 fruit at a cost of ONE MILLION DOLLARS each!!!!! However the Cubans are confident that mass production is only 12 months away with modified irradiated quick growing trees and that the Borange business could net annual profits of 500 million globally by 2012. Wow, can't wait ,I wonder will they stock them in Aldi?


Poetikat said...

Ah, yes, but have they managed to get rid of the stringy bits?

We poets are so thankful to have yet another word to use in rhyme.

Irradiated fruit sounds so "Soylent Green" to me, though. I guess it will be a while then until we get some organic boranges, eh?


Totalfeckineejit said...

Do you know Kat I was so excited about the rhyming possibilities and the twin fruit tantalisation that I never thought about the stringy bits,there's nothing worse than the stringy bits-wonder could they sort that out?
Charlton Heston? Now thats scary.

Jeanne Iris said...

On April Fool's Day
you bring to me
a tale about
an unusual tree
of oranges
and boranges
but most importantly
the possibility
of a new Bubble Tea!

Sigh, it is after all
April Fool's Day.

Ah! But it's still March 31
on this side of the sea.
Could it be?

Dominic Rivron said...

Pulling the segments of an orange apart can be such hard work. Wouldn't the banana bits slimily disintegrate in your fingers?

BarbaraS said...

"Charlton Heston put his vest on... the golden calf had been offended..."

*sigh* ah, they don't make songs like that any more, do they?

Totalfeckineejit said...

Hey Jeanne-hadn't thought of the borange bubble tea.But over this side of the pond we have a drink called 'Club Borange'Is it April already? - must treat the Haggi for fluke worm :)

Totalfeckineejit said...

Hey Dominic ,whatever about the stringy bits there is no problem with mushyness,the Cubans have seen to this by adding elastins into the DNA of the banana gene of the Borange and incorperated loosisity into the orange side so that all the segments are actually seperate and almost fall out into your hand-quite brilliant don't you think?

Totalfeckineejit said...

Hey B,totallyfeckinagreed! Heston/ Vest on -the greatest rhyme ever written IMO.

golden calf had been offended
the broken tablet had been mended
thou shalt not covert
thou shalt not lie
thou shalt not bonk
thy neighbours wife

Ahh, now that's poetry :)

Pure fiction said...

Adding elastins into the DNA of the banana gene of the Borange and incorperating loosisity into the orange side! Wow – these Cuban guys really did think of everything, didn’t they. Do you think they’d work in milkshakes?

John Hayes said...

Sounds like a Phillip K Dick story-- Frankenfruit; tho I'm thinking it was already the Feast of Fools in the People's Republic of EEjit when this was posted. Great fun.

Totalfeckineejit said...

Hello PF,nice pic of Aunt Bee or should I say Aunt Jane? Milkskakes ,Yip sure tang, all dat scientific stuff und The Irish Burger chain Mick Donalds is going to stock Borange shakes -coolicious...

Totalfeckineejit said...

Hi John ,everyday is a fooly feast in da Republo EEjit.How many hours behind are you? Could you bet on a horse that has already run here?
And Frankenfruit? Is that a cross between Franfurters and fruit or a kind of frankenstein Monster with Banana hands or sumptin?