Monday, June 1, 2009

Eurobean elections

Eurobean election candidates

1) Mr Bean -Independent

2)Has Bean -Fine Gael

3)Broad Bean -Rights for overweight people party

4) Abroad bean -Politicians hoping for free travel party

5) String Bean -Underweight Peoples Alliance

6) Runner Bean -The take The Money and Run Party

7)Baked Bean -Fianna Fail (I think their goose is cooked too)

8) Green Bean (looks like a green , sounds like a green, but tastes just like a baked bean) -The Green Party.

9) Shoulda Bean -The TotalFeckinEEjit Party

10)Marijuana Bean -Let's party


Heather said...

I've a nasty feeling I'm a broad bean!

Totalfeckineejit said...

Me too,Heather, but you get my vote every time!

Mad Aunt Bernard said...

I take it the flageolet beans were kicked out...bad behaviour?

Totalfeckineejit said...

Yes ,MAB, thank you for noticing.The flageolets were fired for flagrant,unfragrant,flatulence.

The Weaver of Grass said...

I'm a broad bean too, tfe, but inside there is a string bean trying hard to get out.

Dominic Rivron said...

I can't help thinking there should be a black-eye bean somewhere but can't decide on a party for it!

Totalfeckineejit said...

My string Bean self was was lot under an avalanche of food and drink many years ago.RIP.The good news ,according to a French ex boxer of similar routndity to myself, is that a bit of middle age spread helps protect the bodies organs.Mind you he is now an excellent patisserie chef and was selling me an enormous strawberry cheesecake at the time,so I think his medical opinions might be slightly biased!

Totalfeckineejit said...

Your dead right Dominic,in fact I think there might be a few metaphorical black eyes dished out at polling time!

Kat Mortensen said...

All sorts of beans are running through my mind, but I don't have any good lines to go with them: fava, kidney, lima, soy, pinto, cocoa, vanilla...I could go on, but you do it so much better than I, TFE.


Mad Aunt Bernard said...

I think you can easily be a string bean, but with added cake and beer. So a string bean with strings attached...

Word verification is 'skinf', I'm wondering if dear old blogger meant 'skinful' but the old tipple stopped him typing?

Dr. Jeanne Iris said...

Dom and TFE, those would be black-eyed peas, not beans...y'all!

Thank God, there are no Lima Beans!!! Yech!

Okay, now, the musician that I am, here goes:

Beans, beans
the musical fruit
The more you eat,
the more you toot.
The more you toot
the better you feel
so eat beans at every meal!

Sorry....I just couldn't resist!
Guess that makes me a 'weiltess'! ;-)

Totalfeckineejit said...

Thanks Kat,I couldn't think of another feckin bean. Mmmm, fava beans-and a spot of liver and a nice chianti perhaps?

Yes, MAB, i like the idea of string beans with strings attached both metaphorically and literally so that you could take them for a walk or use them as a vegetarian Ninja weapon in the kitchen to garrote (not carrot) top shouty chef and bullyboy Gordon Sheepy.

Doh! Peas, of course, Jeanne, you is so smart.That is why you is the Prof! What's a lima bean like? I haven't sampled half of these varieties but am determined to do a taste test soon.Could have a no.1 hit with the 'Beaney song'How about the tune though? Would it be played on woodwind instruments?

Dr. Jeanne Iris said...

Not so smart, TFE. I just lived in the Deep South for 12 years, where hog jawls and black-eyed peas along with collard greens are the staples of life.

That 'beans' tune is quite common here...I thought it was as well over there. Indeed, a wind instrument would be perfect!

Ugh...lima beans...flat, kidney in shape, light green, the flavor that an old sock smells like. Oops...there's that synesthesia kickin' in again.

Liz said...

Fav. line from English sit-com as kiddo - Nellie Pledge to husband: 'have you been?' Had us in stitches... (easily pleased back then ; ))

TFE, read your election posters post and must say that 'yes'THE thing that spoiled cruising about in a hired jalopy in a heatwave in Ireland was all the blooming posters...all those faces - they either looked like ex-bosses or Eastenders characters.
Keep up the good work!
: )

Totalfeckineejit said...

Is the deep south scary Jeanne like in the Dukes of Hazzard? I sometimes really wish I could have seen bits America, New York, some of them deeeeeep south places and where are all those 'On the road' Kerouac places? I'd like to go to them and to Millwauke for schlitz beer and the Harley factory and drive around in an old chevy with a small block V8 and and and....

Totalfeckineejit said...

Hey ,Liz, the 'have you bean?' I didn't think of that one. What comedy was that,i recall the line now alright, but not the show? Election Poster faces-ex bosses and Eastenders characters -like it :)But ya shoulda seen ours, Man! I'm still twitchin!