Friday, January 30, 2009


Just when the people of The Peoples Republo Of EEjit thought it was once more safe to leave their,make it as nice as ye want, extend it if ye have to, one-house-per-family ,live-in-it-or-lose-it, homes, Devil Dog returns chomping at the bit (of the postman he can catch )and straining at life's oh!-too-tight leash.Yes The BOSS(co) is back in town - lock up yer, well, EVERYTHING! Gaze upon his works of destruction ye mighty.Top Dawg, Cock O da walk,Lieutenant Boski is back.Karlsberg doesn't make a psycho looper wired to da moon dog, but if they did ,it wouldn't be as hyper as dis yoke. Can we love him? - Yes we can! Can we feed him? Yes we can!- just. Can we train him? Yes we probably can't.What do we want? Emegency training for Bosco! When do we wamnt it ? NOW! Hey Mr phil Lynno don mention 'them cats' fa feks saaayke!

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

RHYMING POETRY-Duz you Duz ,or Duz ye Don't?

In the shortly to be formed Peoples Republic Of EEjit,(located on a floating, continuously sunny, tropical Island near Trabolgen Co. Waaatherfurd) , all rhyming poetry will be banned subjectio to the discretion of the king (me) who has discovered the odd goog bit o rhymo recently, mucho to me surprise.Be da way I nose a Republo should have a Presdent but I just fancy been a King. Oh yis, be dudder way, anyone found roitin Haiku will be cast adrift like dose lads on de raft o da Medusa on da Pogues album cover.(Rum, sodo, agus da lasher)
No exceptos no reprieves unless I changes me tune.(which I always iz)

Hating poems that rhyme

Is a little pastime of mine
unlike others in wonderland
Let’s be not underhand
I’m not saying ‘Off , off!’
With the head of Roger McGough
But poems often get sinned in
punched like Danny McAlinden
though a spade is still a spade
a rose is not by it’s rhyme made
verse is better off
without the rhyming stuff
but what if they cry enough
and leave us in a huff
shouting it’s a poet plot to kill
their trying to make us ill
it’s a cunning master plan
to smash our rhyming dam
its not a con to steal
or make a crooked deal
it’s not a Derridean catch
to which I’d put a match
its something less obscene
just a little rhyming scheme.

Thursday, January 22, 2009


TFE'S recession busto feckin tips #2.
(I hope yous iz buyin dem little salady spudz frum Aldi loike Iz alreedy tolt ye! 39 cent shure yah kudn't grow yer owen fer dat)

Costa coffeee -where I go whenever I can to have a medium skinny(unlike meself) latte and an almond croissant ,or chocolate twist, and do d'easy irishytimes crossword(sure ye'd have to have a tweed jacket to do d'udder yoke) - have a little buke fer sale called,'Frothy tales' A book o very short stories by their wroiter in rezidens(ein gut idea, n'est ce pas?) Davo Spens, and it's only ONE yo-yo and fifty cent! A grand little yoke dat ye can fit in yer pocket and read whenever ye have a minute, or two, as that is about da lenght o da storiees. Or if ye iz eider too tight, or too broke ta pay dat ,ye can read em fer free on da costo website; They iz supportin writin so maybeez we shud suporrto dem too? Our Lokal Costo alzo take old poetry mags from me, to leave out fer da kustomers, which is cool. I'll post a foto of da little buke when I can find de little feck again- oh so mucho beautifool clutter o bukes n mags at da moment in d'house!
Da costa awards have just been announced too, as follows;

One winner is selected in each of the five categories; Novel, First Novel, Biography, Poetry and Children's Book, and each category-winning author receives £5,000.
This year's Category Award Winners are:
2008 Costa First Novel Award Winner
Sadie Jones - The Outcast
Click here to read more
Judges: "This books portrayal of pain makes it a riveting and heartbreaking read - it's rare for a first novel to be this assured."

2008 Costa Novel Award Winner
Sebastian Barry - The Secret Scripture
Click here to read more
Judges: "This exquisitely written love story takes you on an unforgettable journey - you won't read a better book this year."

2008 Costa Biography Award Winner
Diana Athill - Somewhere Towards the End
Click here to read more
Judges: "A perfect memoir of old age - candid, detailed, charming, totally lacking in self-pity or sentimentality and above all, beautifully, beautifully written."

2008 Costa Poetry Award Winner
Adam Foulds - The Broken Word
Click here to read more
Judges: "It is a rare achievement to write a poetry book that the reader simply can't put down. Readers of poetry and fiction alike will be swept along by its chilling narrative."

2008 Costa Children's Book Award Winner
Michelle Magorian - Just Henry
Click here to read more
Judges: " This is a master storyteller at work with the sort of descriptive writing that is a joy to read. Just Henry is a soaring, uplifting warm bath of a book - a wonderful roller-coaster of a story which we all absolutely loved."

To see last year's Category Award Winners, click here....

kant git da klikety klik yokes ta wurk yiz will have to wurk dat out fer yerselves. Sine.
oh yeh, be da way, twould be a bit churlish o me ta mention, (especially as proceeds are charitable and da buke is total bargain))only i mention it in a different context entirely, da buke iz 1 pound in Englo and yet respective currencies are almost at parity.I note too dat d'irishtimes (€1.80)isonly £1.10 in da Nort.Iz we still in rip-off Eire? Rhetorikal kwesto. Fugh it I'm off ta me pit now-wrecked altogether. Nite Niyte, sleep tite ,don't let da recesso bite.

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Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Why do you write?


Where do you write,what time suits best, do you have a special pen/paper, do you have to eat smarties, or drink whiskey while you write? Do you write alone at an elegant Georgian desk with leather inlay or surrounded by kids and dogs at the kitchen table? Can you write on a keyboard or do you have to do it longhand and then transfer it? I love seeing writers dens and finding out how they write.The photographer John Minihan did a great book of portraits of Irish writers called 'An unweaving of rainbows'and the few that gave a glimpse of writers lairs were my favourites.Of them Michael Mannion's(more shabby than chic) looked particularly intriguing with bed/sofa (and what looks like a potty underneath)a massive ancient typewriter on tiny coffeee table,huge sheepskin rug,kettle on top of small fridge and a tailcoat hanging on the back of the door- eclectic!Tell me how you write and why, not so that I might know why I do , but maybe just to remind me.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009


Here I am now mentioning all non poetography things about family and dogs and stuff that I swore I never would coz I'm not interested when other people do.particularly wit pics o their cat. Anyway it's a hard slog but with perseverence and constant repetition and showing who's boss with a little agression, the dog is slowly getting us trained.We realise now that a tidy house is not a happy one, that mud is glorious, cat faeces a tasty treat and 5am is the ideal time for a bracing walk in the cold dark rain.How silly were we before Emperor Bosco showed us the error of our ways? On the plus side,as the dog is almost permanently attached to a lead straining from my left arm, I am slowly developing a one-handed-not-looking-through-the-viefinder technique of taking photographs which will come in handy should I ever become one-handed and blind. Another bonus is my chronic insomnia seems to have disappeared overnight as I crash into bed hours earlier than ever before out of abject exhaustion while muttering prayers that the morning may never dawn and that i may pass away blisfully in my sleep. The fact that I have also developed several nervous tics that would make Inspector Clouseau's boss look like a calm man, is perhaps a small price to pay.

Ps If anybody out there knows what the world record for high jump by a dog is , please let me know- if it's around the same height as a small Bungalow,I think we may be onto a winner.

Monday, January 19, 2009

TFE's biog part one

TFE the first (and only) living person to translate the complete works of some Greek fella most of us have forgotten, into hieroglyphics.This he accomplished without the aid of a compass in a remarkable 17 minutes, pausing only once to enquire how Tipp were doing in da Munster final and to sharpen his pencil.

TFE's recession bustin tips #1

The South-Easts awake the skies are of fire and so are we comrades, watch us BURN!!

1kg salad potatoes 39 cent
Remember, ask not what you can do for Aldi,but what Aldi can do for ye.

This message was brought to you courtesy of the peoples republic of EEjit. (No terms or conditions apply and no potatos were harmed during the 'recession bustin tips' making process)

Saturday, January 17, 2009

We carry on.

New days new beginnings the kings are dead don't mourn them
yesterdays worries washed down in pouring rain
the empty glass full of hope.

New Arrival

Exciting news,there is another heart beating in DAEEJIT household.Meself and Mrs beautiful eejit have been expecting the pitter patter of tiny feet all last week. Then on Thursday (me Birtday by coincidence ) it happened, the new arrival at 5pm on the dot.We hadn't minded whether it be a boy or a girl ,but we were kind of glad it was a boy in the end. We just wanted to make sure he was all there; two ears, two eyes, a nose, four legs and a tail.Yes. it's a dog ,Bosco.Ye didn't think we were having a baby and meself 108 years old, did ya? By the way I'm knockin on a bit now so have started to lie about my age, I tell people I'm still only 107 ,and they believe me!

Friday, January 16, 2009


Apologies comrades for the temporary breakdown in blogging this was due to a technical fault located somewhere deep inside DAEEJITS thermo nuclear reactor. Shutdown was the only safe option and full power should be restored in the not too distant future. In the meantime why not sit back , relax ,enjoy a choc-ice and listen to a selection of most agreeable tunes from DAEEJITS playlist. Alternatively you could gawk at the sea in the vain hope of watching your ship come in like these two auld biddies above.

Monday, January 12, 2009

S.O.S save our stuff

Helmets at the ready da crash is a comin'
Okay looks like I lost me fotos but what can people do ta make sure it don haapen ta dem,well here are some tips from DAEEJIT.
1) All hard drives will eventually fail sure as night follows day-fact!
3) Get a secondary backup external HD
$) Copy everything to disc as even 2 HD's is no guarantee
12) Make it a daily routine to copy/back up yer new work
2) if ye have a PC try not to move it or jolt it at all, this can wreck the HD if you have to move it make sure it is switched off.

Funny I became a digital camera devotee citing all the numerous advantages over film yet all those advantages were devastatingly wiped out overnight.The gas irony is that I never lost a photographic negative in my life. Also what other crashes loses disasters lurk around the corner when ye think almost every aspect of life is stored and run by computers.Look even at journalspace being wiped out, and when ye think of all the hackers out there with trouble on their minds, is anything safe?

Sunday, January 11, 2009


The Theory of Iconic Realism:
Understanding the Arts through Cultural Context by Jeanne I. Lakatos Contribution to Scholarship: This study of iconic realism examines
semiotic theory and iconic structures within the arts. ISBN: 978-0-7734-4870-4 Cost: $99.95/£64.95 132pp 2009 If you would like a discount copy, please send me a postal address,
so I can send you the order form. The discount copy is $39.95.
(I don't know to what that would convert in euros or pounds.)
There will be a $10.00 shipping fee/$15.00 to UK and Europe....sorry!
Discount expires: 1/2010 From the Foreword:"...Offers an innovative way of thinking about
meaning-making both in the creation and interpretation of works of art."
~ Karen K. Jambeck, Ph.D. From a Peer Review: "...A comprehensive theoretical presentation
connecting art forms to cultural meanings." ~ Professor Marjorie Salem, W.C.S.U.
For further information on this book see the URL below:
- Show quoted text -
Phone: 203-837-9245 (office)Email: 203- 837-3953The Fax is my Dept. Fax at the Univ., so a cover letter would be helpful.



Okay, beefore I get carried away thinking all is rosy in da garden of poeetry Ireland let me admit that I hadn't read the hole yoke and I hadn't got to page 72 where d'auld dinosaur rears it's ugly head again with a review of Eilean Ni Chuilleanain's selected poems that would make an art critic sound like a straight talker. This review by Kitt Fryatt is pretentiously hi-flown to the nth degree and is demonstrative of where poetry and it's effete world goes hideously wrong. An intellectual apartheid where poetry is wrestled from the unwashed masses( of which I am one) and put upon a pedestal, confined in an intellectual ivory tower for the supposed elite to frown and fawn upon. Real poetry Is almost always from the outsider looking in , once you lose that you lose truth. Let me quote you a bit to either illustrate this ,or to show i am completely wrong again as I have been many times in the past.This is what Kitt says. 'More sophisticated versions of this solution instruct poets to render any application of folk tradition relevent through psychological aptness, historical parallel, or poetic structure( I sometimes suspect that the broad highway to the 'project' is paved with poetic structure). The cruder of these injunctions accounts for the appeal of traditional material rather better than the supposedly subtler: the attraction of folklore is not its potential to make sense of our atavisms(which in any case is nearly nil) but the opportunity it offers to indulge them.Its uncanny impersonality is analgous to the deconstructionist notion that language, in Pual de man's words,'does things that are so radically out of control that they cannot be assimilated to the human at all.'It might well be better, ethnically speaking, to drown the myth -kitty than strain to accomodate it to an age of human rights.' Admittedly this is taken out of context , but buy PIR read it and tell me I'm wrong. The rest of the stuff is good, some of it is great, no publication is perfect and I think this Ed is still the Bizz.Looking forward to finishing this edition and look forward to da next , will even submit-hope the waiting times have improved as much as da content!

Saturday, January 10, 2009


When ye look like I do mean and moody just don't wash, so going off in a sulk over me lost ouvre is foolin no-one. As for the covers of PIR, here I am back to say ,YET AGAIN, I was wrong.( Mea culpa) Please have that chanted aloud as my ashes are scattered unto the four winds. Now, come here, listen, poetry ireland design is GOOD. okay, admittedly the latest is shite, pure shite, I'm not always wrong, every dog has it's day, but I haven't looked at the publication in years, so, I checked out the PIR designers site 'Hexhibit graphic design', namely Alistair Keady and Fiona Burns, and I liked it.All the other PIR covers they have done are good, some of them are great,so praise where praise is due ,a round of applause for Al and Fi. Life's too short people SO LIVE IT, BE GOOD TO ONE ANOTHER, GO FORTH MULTIPLY YOUR WORDS IN POEMS STORIES ESSAYS BOOKS and above all feck da begrudgers-DLTBGYD. Live long and prosper. TFE.

Friday, January 9, 2009


Repairman called, had no luck. @6000 fotos old and new including last one and a half years work, gone.

The Theory of Iconic Realism: Understanding the Arts through Cultural Context by yours truly (Jeanne I. Lakatos) Contribution to Scholarship: This study of iconic realism examines semiotic theory and iconic structures within the arts. Publisher: The Edwin Mellen Press ISBN: 978-0-7734-4870-4 Cost: $99.95/£64.95 132pp 2009 If you would like a discount copy, please send me a postal address, so I can send you the order form. The discount copy is $39.95. (I don't know to what that would convert in euros or pounds.) There will be a $10.00 shipping fee/$15.00 to UK and Europe....sorry! Discount expires: 1/2010 From the Foreword:"...Offers an innovative way of thinking about meaning-making both in the creation and interpretation of works of art." ~ Karen K. Jambeck, Ph.D. From a Peer Review: "...A comprehensive theoretical presentation connecting art forms to cultural meanings." ~ Professor Marjorie Salem, W.C.S.U. *To all frequenters, I have a date for my book launch, specifically Tuesday February 3rd, at about 630pm in Dubray bookshop on Grafton St, Dublin. You are invited.

Thursday, January 8, 2009


Turns out I was in da wrong place entirely as usual, it's the same when I'm looking for anything in da kitchen at home.
Since posting the PIR review I've discovered that Barbara Smith's book 'Kairos' is in Chapters on Parnell St (tank you B) and Nuala Ni Chonchuir's book 'Tatu' is in Eason O'Connell street and Books upstairs.(Tank you N) So if yous are in da Dub area ,now ye know, whats to stop ye -go get 'em!
Then find a nice bar, have a few scoops, a packet of Tayto and relax, life is good :) The best Guinness is in Mulligans poolbeg street but thats one of da many 0,000's of poteegrafs dat de Dell from Hell has swallied.Feckin thing!


Well , so there I was On Dawson street Dublin browsin in de bookshops looking to buy Tatu by Nuala Ni Chonchuir or Kairos by Barbara Smith( can't afford both!) but these books can't be had for love nor money in any bookshop in da pale(which in this world of un-selling poetry is a rare good complaint).So, I'm seeing if anything else catches my eye.Then I remember Nuala has a review in PIR so out of curiosity I pick it up. Now I've mixed feelings for PIR, the first poem I ever had published was upon it's hallowed pages( and let's face it ,you never forget your first time) but there's been six rejections and a lot of water under the bridge since then.Some eminent poets in there said some things I didn't like ,the poetry was often pretentiously hi-brow and not a little turgid so we fell out of love.I stopped submitting and stopped reading and was fully prepared to not like this issue at all and to put it back as soon as I read the review of Nuala's book(it was glowing be da way) but I flicked through and saw some things and names I liked (or was interested in) so,having €9.99 burning a hole in my pocket and not wanting to return home empty handed I bought it-and I'm glad I did. Of the names I'd seen and liked, Gerard Smyth and Catherine Phil MacCarthy had read well at the national gallery in the summer.(Gerard seems a nice guy, he signed a copy of THE SHOp that had a photo of mine alongside one of his Dublin poems) Richard Murphy was a friend of Ted and Sylvia, Elaine Feinstein did a great biog of Ted Hughes, John McAuliffe has a book out that I got fer Christmas and James Liddy , vona Groarke and Knute Skinner I'd read before elsewhere and liked. Any way there was a lot of good stuff in there so I was pleasantly surprised. Perhaps it's been good fer a while or maybe it's just the new editor Caitriona O'Reilly? Anyway it may still look like a bag of spanners from the outside(compare it to the SHOp,stinging fly, Rialto, Ambit etc) but it's still worth buying for sure.Perhaps it's time to let all my prejudices old and new -go, be a little more open minded.One of my other bugbears had been people offering a little intro/explanation of their poem and I'd be thinking ,'just read the feckin thing will ye' but here in PIR Mark Roper offers A FOUR PAGE background to his poem 'Halcyon' and it is wonderful. So I was wrong again , as was he for not believing his mothers sighting of a kingfisher in a wood( though he had seen a deer) and so as he says in his last line ' I wear the punishment for my unrighteousness lightly; condemned whenever I pass that wood, to be on the lookout for both deer and kingfisher; condemned to try to be open to every possibility.' Thats how I'd like to be this new Year.

Just to finish I should say I was shocked to read that James Liddy had died on 4th Nov 08 and the poems in PIR were submitted just before his death, may he rest in peace.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009


God ran out of money-there's a recesion on you know!

Tuesday, January 6, 2009


Okay the tinsel is down, the last of the Baileys has been licked from da bottle and the family tin of Roses is down to a few spat-out ones put back in de wrappers- lovely. It's time now not to celebrate the New Year but to get into it.I have one last remaining iron in last years fire (West 47) but apart from that diddly squat, so I've got to stop mopin around ,lick de auld wounds, get back up into da saddle and get WRITIN.I don't actually write on horseback thats just a metaphor folks. I've also got to get my thousands of poteegraphs back. St Brendan has turned into the divil himself and is not returning my calls ,let alone coming over to fix da yoke, so tomorrow I must try and find someone else, recommended by someone else, or I'll get anotherfeckineejit like me who will turn up in a baseball cap with a can opener and a roll of cellotape. LOOK OUT WORLD DAEEJIT IS BACK IN TOWN, YEE-HAW!!!

Monday, January 5, 2009


You wait six months for the rejection bus ,then two turn up at once ;) Rejected this evening by Revival, two months after submission.Including the Christmas /New year period that's not bad and in the past they've generally only taken a month which is excellent. No complaint against the excellent White house poets, read them, support them, submit to them, buy Revival. No complaint against Rialto either (do as above) other than multiple submissions should be allowed if response time is 6 months. Actually I've checked my records (scraps of paper in a tin) and response time was 5 months and 9 days to be precise and I've rounded this up to six months in my usual hyperbolic way for added impact. For clarity I should add that I fully understand why it could take 6 months (particularly if you're on your own as I believe Michael Mackmin is)


Greetings comrades today's post brought my first rejection of the New Year approximately six long months after submission. For an acceptance that is a long wait,for a rejection it borders on the sadistic.Which brings me neatly on to the biggest taboo in poetry,yes my friends,let me whisper it simultaneous submissions, shock! horror! and Gasp!.First of all let me say that if a magazine can reply in six weeks or less,(and some repeatedly do) then not accepting multiple submissions seems reasonable. If however they take six months or more, not accepting simultaneous submissions is really tying the hands of the, let's face it ,usually already anxious poet.Multiple submissions should be accepted under the proviso that notice of acceptance by another mag be emailed to concerned parties immediately. I mean how hard could that be, and how often would that really happen anyway for the vast majority? The refreshing hope is provided in the form of on-line poetry mags most of whom ACTIVELY ENCOURAGE simultaneous submissions and often reply within a week!I have never been a fan of these mags but I am slowly being won over as the standard- both of presentation and content -improves.Nothing could possibly ever replace the tactile physicality and special appeal of a real mags, they have a certain 'something' greater even than the sum of their parts. But, if you are just starting out,and it's publication you are after, then ,presuming you haven't got 500 years to live, they well may be the way ahead. I will post more about this soon along with a league table of reply times. Can you guess which mag took just 2 days TO ENGLAND AND BACK!! Which Irish mag took ONE WHOLE YEAR?? Can you believe that another english mag took TWICE THAT TIME. All I can say is gaze upon my league table ye mighty! Oh, and by the way I don't really own a Lamborghini Diablo at all, No, I've got a Bugatti Veyron.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Create! Ahh creation, that ring-a-ding-thang.

Time to round-up the year while it's still fresh in it's grave.The scales of justice, the ying and the yang of 'auld langers syne.' What debit in dacredit crunching "2K and (pieces of) eight? Balance all, bring all to mind, in balance with? What? This life , this deaf?

Rejects ,I've had a few ,butt then again, too many to mention ,( though still, I will)
I did ,what I had to do,
I saw it through,
with all pretension.

On the plus side of the yardstick of righteous judgement there was , is , and always shall be, till death us delete. (But first, On Westmoreland Street this (Sic Itur ad) saturday I was robbed of poetry ,at shutter speed taken from me, curmudgeonly, is how it seemed to me.)Anyway, in the creation / publication credit Bank this last year 2008 were:

The cover shot of 'Let's be alone together' -brilliant short story anthology from Da stinging fly.

Photo in The Dubliner magazine 'Night and day exhibition'

Six ( now lost) photos in Magma

Photo in Da Dubliner magazine

Photo ( now lost) in The (summer) SHOp

Poem in the (summer) SHOp

Two photos in summer stinging fly

Poem in Jan Revival

Poem in July Revival.

In the rejection debit section the total were:

Stinging fly -poems

The SHOp - poems

The corduroy mountain- poems

Mermaid Arts Centre- Photos (judged by Theo ( Nemesis) Dorgan)

Patrick Kavanagh Award- poems (judges including Theo dorgan)

West 47 - poems

RHA -photos (now lost)

Arts council grants/bursarys- Nil
Local Arts office grants/ bursaries/ remotest interest-Nil

So (not including grants) the tally is 16 submissions, 9 acceptances and 7 rejections.

For 2009 I hope to salvage my 2 or 3 thousand missing photos, buy a newer, better camera ( are ye listening arts grants people ? No?-Didn't think so!) to not get bitter ,not get twisted, not get dejected and build poems towardsa first collection.This is uncharacteristic, it won't last, I'll be in better humour soon , promise! Self-pity and self-indulgent whining are not attractive qualities so I will edit/delete this post later.

Latest submissions: Still waiting to hear from West 47, The Rialto, and Revival.

Friday, January 2, 2009


I occasionally look at Ailbhe Darcy's blog,' glumphoboo ' over on journal space but I noticed today that it has vanished, gone , along presumably with every other blog set up there. Iwonder could that happen here? Have we any way of backing up our blogs, some of them are years old with hundreds of posts.This doesn't help my psyche as I sit and sweat, waiting for emergency invasive surgery deep into the bowels of my Dell. (Has anyone noticed that dell is only one letter away from hell? )Apparently everything they had on journalspace was lost ,not because of hard drive failure but overwriting .Not sure exactly what that means in this instance,or how it could happen.

Thursday, January 1, 2009






I've never looked at the breakdown of allocations before but clearly literature isn't any kind of priority.

Funding by artform in the three major Arts Council grants programmes below:

Abbey Theatre
10,000,000 (2008)
8,350,000 (2009)

Other Theatre

Visual Arts






Fancy Balloon tying


Traditional Arts

Street Arts and Spectacle



TFE's Drinks

TFE's Life value if he doesn't get his photos back

Actually plumbing and fancy balloon tying didn't really get any money at all , I just put them in for some light comic relief , and the last two are bogus. No ,really.