I was away. Virtually away, or away virtually. No internet connection for two whole days!! ( Be honest now, you didn't even notice did you? Your little world kept on turning just fine without me. Six feet under I could have been and ye would still be watching Bradley getting buried on Eastenders)
Combine this with no alcohol for FIVE whole days and you have a desperate man on the edge. Not The Edge from U2. I've never even met him let alone got on him. But I was baying at the moon, scampering around on all fours and chewing the legs off the table. This was mainly due to the messy divorce from the drink, but also the insatiable desire to check my emails.
Stuff was surely happening, commissions, acceptances, offers, requests, bursaries, all kinds of fascinating, exciting, life affirming stuff was being stuffed into my inbox and I couldn't get my hairy hands on to it. (I didn't have hairy hands till I gave up drink by the way.) From the drink to the brink in five eternal, irritable, shaky days.
But NO! Amazingly fek all was happening as feck all always happens, but emails are like the Lotto, the day you don't check your numbers, is the day your sure you've won.
Anyway I'm back now and coincidentally back on the drink as it's the weekend and to celebrate and for no other reason except for joy itself I'm going to shout out Bollix ! And even louder BOLLIX!! Why? Because I can !