Friday, March 12, 2010

Ah, Feck, feck and feckitty feck!


How fughin typical is that? Here I am a leg end in my own lifetime, a bloggo genius at the peak of bloggability and on the cusp of blogging immortality in the Irish Blogger awards (apparently I breezed through round one.Round two ,a mere formality, is on Friday) and my prize winning header blows up out of all proportion. No matter how hard I hit the screen with a hammer it just won't shrink back down to normal size. Despite officially having the best blog in the WORLD * , I surely might possibly miss out on a top prize now. (This may look like a handy excuse for losing, but that's only because it is.)

Rather cleverly, however, I have managed to upload my old header pic underneath the new bloated header to illustrate the difference whilst at the same time creating an exciting and somewhat avant garde collage that may well win the hearts and minds of the rather gorgeous and highly astute judges that will be popping in. I in no way wish to influence their decision by saying that any prize monies , freebies,groupies, trips, pot noodles will be shared among them when, I mean if, I win. No, that would be plain wrong.

Don't forget now this weeks Poetry Bus challenge is to craft a poem using the breathtakingly brilliant first lines wot I rote but can't (yet ) finish

'She was wearing Stella McCartney,
I was drinking Stella Artois'

Or swap it about to suit yourself/gender.

If anyone from Mars or Carlow are looking in, Stella McCartney is a fashion designer and daughter of famous ex Beatle, Ringo Starr. Stella Artois is a Belgian medicinal cure for warts and walking straight.

Get your poems written, post them on your blogs next Monday, leave a comment in me box and I'll post links to all the doings. All aboard!



* Source: Guiney's Book of Bollix.

28 comments:

Elisabeth said...

I thought Stella McCartney was Paul McCartney's daughter. Or are you testing?

If you had not told us, I would not have realised that your blogger head was not intentionally so, as you say like a collage - the magnified and the normal size of it all.

Good luck with the competition.

The Weaver of Grass said...

Shall be at the bus stop on Monday, even if I have to come on my crutches! Like the header fiasco - it proves you are human (had often thought of you as super-human!) Isn't that round ball up in the sky fantastic - I am wondering if it is that thing called the sun, which I have not seen for long, long winter days.

the watercats said...

The header looks strangely arty... just what the judges will be looking for I'm sure.. I love the expression, "at the leg end"... and I'm also loving the first lines to the monday challenge, two perfect characters to work on there! hopefully I can do them justice :-D

NanU said...

arent there any fashin desiners related to guinness? that belgian piss is too too lame. but i thinks i can work with it. yes. disgruntledness all over. Anything for the Best Blog in the World!

Karen said...

Actually, I like the enlarged fragment - thought it was done purposely until your explanation. You're a blogging genius for certain!

Heather said...

Solve the problem by going back to the header photo of that gorgeous beach which you used the other day. See you on the bus on Monday.

Jeanne Iris said...

Okay, TFE, I just posted my Flash Fiction tale, "Stella, the Ceili Dancing Squash Bug" on the following blog:

http://revolutionaryrevelry.blogspot.com

Ciao!

Totalfeckineejit said...

Stella McCartney , Paul McCartney's daughter? What makes you think that Elisabeth?

Totalfeckineejit said...

Here comes the sun, Weaver!What does it look like again?

Totalfeckineejit said...

YEs, you are right UisceKateens and I was up all night designing and tweaking it to make it look just so, honestly!

Totalfeckineejit said...

Did you like the beach, Heather? It was blown-up too and then Niamh mentioned that my blog was still in the running so I thought i better put the old pic back , this was no time to be messin and it too went all wrong, AAAARRRGGhHH!

Totalfeckineejit said...

Specially for you NanU....

She was a twenty something Diva with Lulu Guinness bag

He was a twenty stone Glaswegian
dressed in Eddie Izzard drag.

The best blog in the world ? Aw, shucks, how kind of you to notice! ;)

Totalfeckineejit said...

Yes Karen how astute, I am a blogging genius.And If I win I definitely designed that header and if I lose it was my computers fault due to the constant bad luck i've had since not buying the clothes pegs and lucky Heather from the travelling circus.I told them I couldn't buy Heather as she really belonged with her husband, if however they were offering still single trapeeze artiste/contortionist, Ingrid, I would give them all the money i had including a loan from the credit union.

Totalfeckineejit said...

Heather! Glad to see you left the circus and went back to hubby.

Argent said...

I was thinking the giant photo thing was just MY computer acting the goat! Of course, I should have know it was all part of the suspense-building for the awrds thing. TFE delimerately making his blog look different to lull the other contenders into a fasle sense of security, and then BLAM! He's back and he;s winning. I can see it now, the flowers, the ticker tape parade, the chat show invites....

Liz said...

TFE, am flinging (virtually, naturally) the gallagher's good luck pocker at your heels for the old awardo...but just to be sure to be sure I've gone and voted for you too which can be done here.

http://awards.ie/blogawards/
It says:' e-mail Contact@awards.ie with the exact subjectline: Blog Choice 2010, say what categories it was shortlisted in and what category you want it moved forward to.'

Commiserations to us all on the arts fund rejection...invigorating to know there is a plan B...cheers, TFE and hellsfire, that is one gawdammit and goneanddonnit(ifonly!) inspiring poetry prompt...nothing stirring so far but you never know! ; )

Ann said...

Great excuse! You should win just for that.

Glad Brigid from sort of witty steered me in your direction. Your post has brightened up a rather dull and gloomy Friday.

Jeanne Iris said...

TFE, don't know if this is too late or not, but I had problems with my photos last weekend. Here's what I did: I converted the photos to size 8x6, then, right before I 'chose' the photo from my desktop, I clicked onto 'shrink to fit.' Voila! They fit into the frame. Good luck!

Bill said...

I've written a poem as per instructions but, being rather coy, I think I'll sleep on it for a night or two...

Terresa said...

I agree with The Watercats, the header is arty.

It looks nearly intentional. Maybe even deserving of extra pot noodles, per chance?

Bill said...

Poem duly published - a little bit early!

http://usuallyconfined.blogspot.com/2010/03/night-out.html

Rachel Fox said...

If you don't win it's rubbish anyway.

Done my homework. Posting early as won't get to computer tomorrow.

x

Niamh B said...

this week it's such a toughie TFE... I'm struggling

Totalfeckineejit said...

Yes Argent Yes , the ticker tape, the champagne, the chat shows, the champagne, the flowers, the champagne.Ah feck it lets just have the champagne!

P Nolan said...

I'm there, sort of; http://pjnolan.blogspot.com/2010/03/poetry-bus-monday-poem.html

chiccoreal said...

Stella and Daddy Paul
went bar hoppin' in Dublin town
found a pint or two
of Stella Artois
for Stella
only could drink her kind
Guiness was too stout
As Paul seemed to glout
And all was a mad habdash
and finery!

crazyfieldmouse said...

this was all that came to mind with the name:
http://crazyfieldmouse.wordpress.com/2010/03/15/the-stella-poem/
irritated now by endlessly shuffling lines but wanted to paticipate
cfm

Lorenzo at the Alchemist's Pillow said...

OK, TFE. I have posted my Stella poem (a combination post for magpie tales 5 as well). Hope the bus has not left without me ...

http://www.alchemistspillow.com/2010/03/stella-by-starlight.html