Monday, September 21, 2009

The Monday poetry extravaganzAAA

GOOD MORNING WOOORLLD!Here it is, population of the universe, the moment you have been waiting for.I'm looking forward to reading this weeks responses.I struggled with mine, it started off too long and I never write long poems so I slashed chunks out of it and butchered it, it's not a prime cut but it will do.I will keep at it till I'm happy or give it to the dog. All aboard the poetry mystery train now folks we'll be making plenty of stops along the way visiting different lands and different people let's see if any of us are homeward bound. Pip pip! We're leaving from platfom 9 just follow through the gap in the fence.Tea coffee and biscuits are available from the buffet car. (Alcoholic beverages after )


Took more than a fast car to get away
from any place we could call,
would we call it? Lies!
Dug the hole too deep
couldn’t keep it together.
The hunger at our bones
pour yourself the ice-breaker
the new romancers little joke,
blood- letting in the name of love,
off the rails, feel the
beating(flesh to fist) heart-
be still ,their beating hearts.
Screw up your face
to make it fit.
Screw up your life
to escape,
cast adrift ,
cut loose ,
hiding still ,from
the long evening shadows
of home.

Dominic Rivron
Rachel Fox
Mrs Nesbitt
Don't Feed The Pixies
The Weaver of Grass
The Watercats
PJ Nolan
Emerging Writer
Sandra Leigh


Rachel Fox said...

Ooo I like 'blood-letting in the name of love'.

I think we are in a similar place this week. Poetically anyway...


Uiscebot said...

I'M ALWAYS TOO LATE FOR EVERYTHING!! Monday poetry rocks. As the poet said about the spider - 'this thing's got legs!'

Here's a poem I uploaded this morning, sort of.

NanU said...

Strong work, TFE.
Love those first three lines especially.

I can feel your link to the song you chose. I can tell you, I wavered in writing this week's entry. Between, as you, not being able to get away fast enough, to not wanting to tear down my hometown the way Springsteen does in his picture of sad decay. Guess I should write more a hometown series than just one poem.

Niamh B said...

Nice - it'd be interesting to see the long version!

P Nolan said...

So far, I'm liking; Mrs Nesbit's rhyming of 'Merits' and 'Ferrets', Weavers' "unlimited dooby doos to follow", Science Girls "cat-eating chaparral", John Holten's My knees don't feel / the cold housed in the concrete / I gave up on heat - and TFE's own; "hiding still, from / the long evening shadows / of home. Lovely.

Mine is here ;

willow said...

I love "screw up your face to make it fit".

Hey, did you forget me in your list? Or did you read my little poem and think FORget it? ;^)

Heather said...

I've just posted mine TFE and apologise for being the odd one out. I haven't been able to listen to the songs you suggested so had to look elsewhere for inpiration.

willow said...

Okay, after visiting Weaver, I see I have completely missed the Springsteen theme. Duh. Oh, well.

Titus said...

TFE, I got back and I've done it. Will return to peruse the rest. And what a lot this week! Is it catching?

Don't Feed The Pixies said...

Excellent poem - i've never been able to master this kinda thing myself, so you'll note that my effort was more of a tum-ti-tum-ti-tum thing

I enjoyed the line about screwing up your face to make it fit

P Nolan said...

Aaaargh! The dangers of speedy blogbrowsing! I now see that the lines i accredited to John Holten's were actually Usicbot'sm Mea culpa, Colm - I still like 'em! ;-)

The Weaver of Grass said...

Love it - even though you have chopped bits out -much too good for the dog. I will join you for tea and biscuits on the train. See you there!

swiss said...

is it monday, well yes it is. so there must be poems. and there are. i couldn't be doing with that simon and garfunkel so avoided it completely

Jeanne Iris said...

Cut away...this is great stuff, TFE.
Whew! Between teaching and other obligations, I made it to each blog this time, and it was well worth the read. With this inspirational assignment, your contribution to elevated thought today is extraordinary, and I thank you.

wv: suckouts: Imagination elicits 'suckouts' of human perceptions.

the watercats said...

I vote to see the long version... these lines hooked proper.. a deep gut type hook, all sinewy and blooded... *salutes ;-)

Dominic Rivron said...

"Took more than a fast car to get away/from..." was a clever place to start, I thought. I particularly liked the last part - "screw up your face, etc"

Long live Mondays!

Emerging Writer said...

Late again. Do drop by my post.
Meanwhile let me say I also love "screw up your face to make it fit"

Will go poetry surfing now... should be working on my PK09 submission but hey.

Titus said...

P Nolan's and Willow's highlights the same as mine. Stunning end lines.

I like the anger in this very much.
Good theme this week, strangely intimate. On reading the lot I frequently felt invited into people's lives and pasts.

Thanks for initiating and co-ordinating all of this.

Sandra Leigh said...

My intentions were good, really they were, but here I am again, posting at 8 p.m. my time, which is ungodly late across the pond. I do apologize - but I did post something over at The Turtle.

"Dug the hole too deep
couldn’t keep it together."


Liz said...

Cool! TFE, love 'pour yourself the icebreaker' and 'hiding still from the long evening shadows'...definitely the stuff of running away. good work.

Totalfeckineejit said...

Tanx Rachel,similar place a few times methinks!

Better late than never Uiscebot!

A whole Hometown series is a wonderful idea NanU with some photos too perhaps? Go for it!

Tanx Niamh,on a dull day if I'm brave enough I'll put the uncensored original out.

Tanx, Padhraig.There were many memeorable highlights out there-I'm delighted.

Tanx Willow, couldn't forget you,great poem , you're in there! Doesn't matter that it's not Bruce, joining in is the main thing :)

So long as you're in Heather, any song will do!

Seems to be catching Titus, thanks, I wonder how long it will last though?

Tanx DFTP,that's some piece of work you've put together there a real Sprinsteenerism!

Yes, pay attention P Nolan !

Chocolate hobnobs and a latte for me, what you having Weaver?

There's always next week, Swiss!

Thanks for finding the time Jeanne!

Tanx Watercats, glad ye got it!

Tanx too Dom, more Mondays to come, hopefully, till peeps get bored.

Late is fine , just glad to have ye aboard, EW.

Tanx Titus and interesting observations too. Real glad you made it back in time.

You are more than forgiven Sandra Leigh!

Tanxio mucho Lizzo!