Saturday, February 6, 2010

It's down there for dancin'


What's the word on the street EEj? The word on the street this week ,peeps, is taxidermy! Watch out, there are people out there who want to stuff you.Yes YOU! So be warned, be on your guard. BE THE STEPPER NOT THE STONE!


In other news the EEjitmobile failed it's NCT (MOT) what do ye call it in Americaland? Do ye even have such a thing?It's a car safety test introduced to take rust bucket death traps off the road, a noble cause indeed.Initially. Now you can fail on requiring a sneeze into the tyres, or having the wrong colour paint to match your bloodshot eyes. There's fuck-all wrong with our car,my mechanic friend told me so, except that it needs a ball joint replacing, a ball joint that PASSED the NCT!!! FFS. Now we have to replace the defective ball joint that passed the test and also many sound items including rear brake discs that passed the brake test by a country mile, but failed.Riddle me that one oh Riddler.


COME THE GLORIOUS DAY


Come the revolution , up against the wall# 47.... NCT testers. Oh Yes, I have a list , a LONG list, be warned!!!!


Elsewhere in the world THePoetry Bus rides again! By next monday 15th feb I want POEMS.I want PASSION, I want LOVE, I want HATE.Valentino Day is upon us, let that be your catalyst ,your touchstone, I want LIBIDO , I want FORNICATION, I want more LOVE and LUST and HATE. I want the full nine yards of the passions of LOVE. I want SOULMATESHIP I want UNREQUITED angst, I want FILTH and DEBAUCHERY , the one that got away, the ONE that NEVER should have been, I want your HEART and your SOUL, I want BLOOD upon the page of your ROMANTIC escapades.POETRY is not for the faint of HEART!


ALL poems will be considered SUBMISSIONS for the impending POETRY BUS magazine.If you do not want your poem to be published in said publication.LET ME KNOW!

This baby is gonna SOAR LIKE AN EAGLE or CRASH and BURN like a Phoenix. Either way it's not gonna be a half-arsed piece of shite. THis is going tobe the second best poetry magazine in the world, do not doubt me Oh ye of little faith, I am the ICEMAN ,I am THE WALRUS.The SHADOWS are no longer for me ,I will not live in them (ask Cliff) no longer will my light be hidden under a BUSHELL.


ALSO the draw for people who were left out of the first draw hasn't yet taken place but Argent is the winner.
REMEMBER this week's watchwords are PHONEYISM and TAXIDERMY, coming soon to a venue near YOU!

32 comments:

aleph said...

Your "I want" list is amazing, TFE! I felt totally caught in the speed of ectasy. Ah, I´ll try, maybe...

Jeanne Iris said...

ooh la la...already feelin' this one, TFE! And we here in the U.S. get Feb. 15th off for President's Day, honoring Lincoln and Washington on a 4 day Holiday...This year it lands in the midst of Valentine's Day AND Mardi Gras! Woo-Hoo! "Throw me somethin' Mistah!" (That's what they say in Nah'leans during the MG parades.)

Auto Emissions Tests are what we have here in the States. Sorry your limo didn't cut the mustard. Guess it's time to break out the ol' two wheeler then, eh?

Now, excuse me, but I've got some steamy potery to pen.

wv: pollog: Hmmm...maybe this is Irish for Paul. (?)

Jeanne Iris said...

btw, love your new header photo! That shoe store looks just like one that I passed in Winchester, England. Walking through what I thought was the entrance of the shoe store ended up being the chapel of William the Conqueror. Whew! Talk about a time warp!

English Rider said...

Strewth!

Niamh B said...

TAXIDERMY!?!?!?!?! For shame!!!

Will get working on my submission now.

Heather said...

I love your new header portrait TFE - you're looking good for 108! Hope your car gets through the MOT next time - they are a pain, but a necessary evil. I'm not sure I can fulfil the requirements for the next poetry challenge. I've led a very sheltered life and have great-grandchildren to set an example to! I might be better off writing a poem on taxidermy.

Argent said...

Count me in for a ticket on the lurve-bus!! I have a pome all ready to go....and ye can publo it all ye like.

the watercats said...

WHAT THE HELL IS VALENTINES DAY!?... :-)

can it be roses are red and violets are blue thingies?. I loove dem :-)
and .. we have a book on taxidermy and it's written by a bloke called john weasal or something..
taxidermy is a nice word.. I like it, and it has deep conotations when related to valentines day..
ooo eeerrr missus!

Pure Fiction said...

Sorry to hear about your nct failure.
I absolutely love this new photo - he doesn't look very happy about you taking his picture, does he?

John Hayes said...

Cars can be such a pain. In the States, the equivalent is car inspection (or vehicle inspection for all the truck drivers); however, the individual states regulate this, so to a certain degree, requirements vary depending on where you live. & it's even up to each state whether they have inspection or not: Idaho, for instance, has no vehicle inspection.

Ball joints are kinda crucial items....

The Weaver of Grass said...

Eej - I've got a house full of stuffed birds, a torch, a naughty book (well it was in 1940 - not naughty now, just a bit tame to be honest)and plenty of sheets ready so that I can have a secret read with my torch under the bedclothes - in other words I am ready prepared for the bus challenge - February 15th it shall be.

Totalfeckineejit said...

Yes Aleph, try. tHat's all we can do is try! Pip pip!

Totalfeckineejit said...

Big celebrations Stateside then Jeanne and days off too? What a hooley!

And wo that must have been some fancy ye olde shoee storee in Engloe!
This one is in Grafton St. Dublo.

Totalfeckineejit said...

Strewth, Eglish Rider? Fair dinkum!

Totalfeckineejit said...

Yes Nivby, get Dora to be quiet by pennin a pome

Totalfeckineejit said...

Thanks Heather but he's a spring chicken compared to me.I had to get a passer by to hold the camera and another one to press the shutter for me.
You don't have to be fruity in the pome, let the LOVE shine!You can do it H !

Totalfeckineejit said...

That's the spirit Argo!

Totalfeckineejit said...

Please Watercats tell me the Taxidermy book IS written by a Mr Weasel! That would b so cool!

Totalfeckineejit said...

He doesn't look happy at all PF but it was too good to miss I was a good way off zooming in among loads of shoppers and tourists and yet he honed in on me!

Totalfeckineejit said...

Thanks John, I'm moving to Idaho!

Totalfeckineejit said...

Thanks John, I'm moving to Idaho!

Totalfeckineejit said...

Weaver you seem incredibly well prepared for this one, I'm expecting great things!

Liz said...

'Be the Stepper Not the Stone'...that's going on on my next t-shirt! ; )
TFE, you're a natural when it comes to listing your ' I wants' - steamy stuff, no less. The mix of love and taxidermy will be explosive - there shall be feathers, me thinks ; )

Great poetry-rousing post...enjoyedo, mucho.

P.s. yes, header guy amazing - like how you caught 'that look'

Totalfeckineejit said...

I a[pear to be moving toIdaho twice! I must be really keen to go.Idaho, Idaho so good he moved there twice.Idaho Idaho it's a wonderful town! (with no cat test)

I mean car test.

Totalfeckineejit said...

Thanks Liz , I learned my list writing skills by writing to Santy, pages and pages long.Fucker always let me down, so I'd add the old list onto the new list the next year.I'll keep you and yer little feckin elves busy , I thought.

I'm hoping for a POEM from YOU young lady, none of that real life I'm busy nonsense !

Poetikat said...

Should be interesting since I'll be dining at Vijay's Indian on V-day with a few glasses of chardy and maybe a cosmo or two. Should I write after that? Lord knows what I'll regurgitate under those circs. Ah, what the hell! You want the nitty gritty right? On a platter, like J-the-B's head!

I'll be posting one tomorrow all the same. Hope you'll pop in for a look-see TFE.

Luv,
Kat

willow said...

The Bus is back?!! I thought it met it's untimely demise and had been hauled away.

Okay...taxidermy...okay...I can work with this. Deliciously quirky.

Harnett-Hargrove said...

Looking forward to the Bus coming around...! -J

Jeanne Iris said...

And TFE, Idaho is where we get most of our spuds here in the U.S., which is why its nickname is the 'Potato State!" I highly recommend Coeur d'Alene, Idaho...beautiful country out there!

Moira said...

Ok TFE, mine is up!

crazyfieldmouse said...

ok
I am scared
but here is my offering
http://crazyfieldmouse.wordpress.com/2010/02/13/how-do-i-love-thee/

love
cfm

Jeanne Iris said...

Hi TFE! Not sure where or when you want our poems for the LOVE Bus, but mine is up on this blog:
http://revolutionaryrevelry.blogspot.com

Happy Valentine's Day! Happy New Year! Happy Mardi Gras!
HAPPY!!! : )