Monday, February 1, 2010

Dominic's challenge

Dominic Rivron set us a piece of music to listen to and write to. (see details here http://dominicrivron.blogspot.com/2010/01/challenge.html ) I usually find music a great catalyst, he previously posted some Stockhausen that really affected me. Beyond cliche I couldn't get into this,I was at fault not the piece. I'm still locked in my own bubble that I thought had burst.Anyways here's something that by any other name might be 'a poem' or two

Ghost train

They’re escaping
Or returning by mistake
I’m lost thinking
Open mouthed hairy demons
My silence drowns
Church bells, graveyards.
This is Hammer Horror,
This is Fright Night
Hitchcock kitsch.
Rolling barrels
Jumping through hoops
never ending
I’m Waiting
Mist rising
fast trains passing
I’m waiting
looking through the dark
In anticipation of anxiety
too many trains
none stop
headless horsemen pass by.


Identity theft

M6
hard shoulder
Broken down
Beaten up
Money stolen
Left for dead
Gravel grazed
Fly-over
Concrete
Blood red
From who
I was.

14 comments:

Karen said...

Whew! You told us!

Dominic Rivron said...

Thanks for this - can't beat a good rant. I'll add it to the list of contributions! It just popped to the top of my bloglist as I was about to close down for the night.

Dr. Jeanne Iris said...

From 'whom'....please...it's been a long Monday, just humour me. (I even spelled humour your way!) ; )

Colm Keegan said...

identity theft is briliant

Rachel Fox said...

I like your hairy demons.
x

Niamh B said...

I like the second one alot TFE. I like Gravel grazed and Concrete Blood red.

Heather said...

Powerful stuff TFE. I tend to avoid dark themes - there is so ,much doom and gloom in our daily news - maybe I'm just a wimp and should face up to them.

swiss said...

of the two i was more into identity theft but i liked the now absent ranty-y poem the best!

Titus said...

"Ghost train" really took me back to the original piece, and I loved this section;

never ending
I’m Waiting
Mist rising
fast trains passing
I’m waiting

and I simply found "Identity theft"
impressive in its conciseness and clarity.

Dr. Jeanne Iris said...

"Looking through the dark in anticipation of anxiety."

Beautifully dark and filled with truth!

Kat Mortensen said...

I liked it, but then I like anything with hairy demons. *kidding*

Seriously that "too many trains" line is really good, for one.

Kat

Unknown said...

Both poems--very good! The train poem really rocks with "too many trains" & "Hitchcock kitsch" & W.B. must be rolling in his grave (in a pleasant way) with "headless horseman pass by"!

Batteson.Ind said...

perfectly dark... I missed the deadline for this challenge but had listened to the music and this is the sort of thing I got... It was very bladerunner...
hairy demons... every poem needs them :-)

Argent said...

Nice, nice, nice!!!! I liked the sound of Hitchcock kitsch - tongue twister there is ever there was one. Good job on that music, was difficult to write to as it didn't float my boat.