Monday, June 8, 2009

BONUS TRACK-ONE NIGHT ONLY

There's heat, the world's a kitchen,
and if you can't stand it, well.
Pulling them knives to dig the dirt
man everybody has some hurt
if you look hard enough.
Broken pots the lot of us,
pieced together as best we can
words the best and worst of glues
poetry conundrums full of clues.
Rhyme, rhyme why hast thou?
Forsaken meaning for the moment
sometimes you have to lie to tell the truth
and the whole point is no different
than the thief in the night
the silence before dawn
full of questions,question.

22 comments:

Niamh B said...

Like this a lot. Really captures the feeling of try to grasp at something, but being left more confused.

Lovely stuff

Rachel Fox said...

I really like this. Especially the first half. Especially especially the first two lines.
Did you miss an ' out of worlds on purpose? It seems to me that you didn't but maybe you did.
I like the rhyme business in the middle too.
x

Totalfeckineejit said...

Thanks Mrs Niamh, glad you liked it.I thought I knew a few things when I was young, lately I'm totally convinced that I don't know anything, which is a little bit scary as inevitably I'm an awful lot nearer the end now.

Totalfeckineejit said...

Thanks Rachel,I'm glad you liked it, and of course the first two lines.Punctuation really not my strong point,don't tell anyonebut the missing ' is a mistake I might sneak it back in.I'm not much of a writer or a reader and everything is done with the heart not the head.My poetry really is like vomit,it's usually produced when I've had a few drinks,i can feel it brewing and it has to come out and when it does, i feel a lot better, but looking at it I don't like it or know what to do with it and I rarely recognise any of the ingredients in it-did I really eat that? - Because I didn't really write it, it just comes out in one solid lump in as long as it physically takes to type, I never re-write because I wouldn't know how.So it's always interesting to see what other people think or recognise- thanks.

Rachel Fox said...

I hesitated about mentioning it...I can hardly be the apostrophe colonel when my punctuation is pretty erratic in poetry (for some people's taste) and I use these...all the time in my blog (because a lot of the time the blog is thinking aloud... more or less). But in the end I did mention it because it makes a big difference to that line. And it's a good poem - vomit or not. It's good vomit.t
x

Niamh B said...

Re your definition of what poetry is - look at the following

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1e5Jeh2Fk0

I think it can be very true

Poetikat said...

Great line - "Broken pots, the lot of us" and I'm just loving your use of rhymes.
(See. Just goes to my earlier point - I've never read THAT before. )

Kat

Poetikat said...

Just read your last comment back to Rachel, TFE. So long as you don't flush it down the loo, this "vomit".

Kat

Totalfeckineejit said...

Thanks again Rachel,blogsare good for thinking aloud aren't they? Use as many...... as you like we don't mind.Good vomit,yeh, I like that :)

Totalfeckineejit said...

Mrs Niamh, thanks for taking the time to post that link.That's the third time bukowski has been mentioned in comments on this blog.I don't really know about him at all but I liked the clip you posted, found it very interesting. I'd heard about Bukowski a year ago, that he was a poet that drank and was a bit wild, so thinking he was some kind of American Brendan Behan I made a beeline for him but heard /read just one poem and really thought it an offensive pretentious rebellion, didn't like it and never bothered again.I'm sure I was probably jealous, maybe it's time to revisit Charlie.

Totalfeckineejit said...

Hey Kat thanks for these my canadian blogpal. No,won't flush it, just post it on the virtual toilet -my blog! :)

The Weaver of Grass said...

Pretty well sums up life TFE. Love it.
I keep trying to put you on my blog list but each time to do so you hop off before I can glue you firmly down. Not sure what that means! Shall try again now.

The Weaver of Grass said...

Eureka! Gotcha.
Don't you go hopping off my blog list while my back is turned!

Jeanne Iris said...

Beautiful, TFE. Now, I'm functioning on no sleep for the past 36 hours, so don't know how this will end up sounding, but my fav line of this poetic piece is...um...I forgot...let me check again....oh, that's right! "Silence before the dawn" LOVE that! Really captures the essence of the writer, any genre.

btw, I'm in Ireland right now! Sipping an Irish Guinness. ahhh! Lovely country...lovely folks!

wv: caker

caker: When one has given up beer, one brings a 'caker' to the party.

Niamh B said...

Yeah - have to say I do like him, like his short storys, poems, and that interview is funny - an abrasive character but has a lot of good points too.

Totalfeckineejit said...

Ah, Weaver, the computer Gods are against me all the time, really and virtually.I'm glad you fought against them and overcame their foul tyranny against me.I won't be hopping anywhere if I can help it , glad you loved(oooh!) the poem and kind of you to say so :)

Totalfeckineejit said...

Hey Jeanne cead mille failte! 36 hours ? Lightweight! I haven't slept since 1985 :) Are ye in the bar already? Fair play!And are ye wired into d'internet or have ye a laptop? If you get a chance we should meet in Bewleys Dublin-you can buy me a coffee - and a cake!Have a great holiday.

Totalfeckineejit said...

Thanks for that Mrs Niamh,I'm definitely gonna try and read some Bukowski.Didn't kno whe wrote short stories. I think I'm ready,where should I start?

Raph G. Neckmann said...

I like this poem - especially 'broken pots the lot of us' and 'words the best and worst of glues'.

A lot of my pictures just 'come out' unpremeditatedly too - and ideas too - I have to write them down whatever I'm doing, or I forget.

Niamh B said...

Next time you're in a book shop pick up Tales of Ordinary Madness, the first story in that - a .45 to pay the rent - is pretty good.

Totalfeckineejit said...

Thanks my Giraffey friend, your picures are brilliant and there are so many yet you keep coming up with new ideas-amazing!

Totalfeckineejit said...

Thanks for the tip Mrs Naimh, it's good to get things recommended.Nearest good bookshop is in Dubblo so will trawl dinternet tonite.