The Parting Glass

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1se8_-fcxZs

I hope ye are all getting the candles ready for New Years Day Festival of Light, if we all light them together the scientists will think it's more evidence of global warming. The photo is of Lough Mask in County Mayo. I fell into it the next day but, despite being unable to swim ,miraculously survived. Then nearly killed myself laughing.

I always tell people I never learned to swim to give me respect for the sea, even though the only boat I have ever been on is the ferry to Holyhead. Actually I was on another boat once in The Clyde Estuary and nearly drowned that day too. Oh, and a canal boat on a weekend holiday in Staffordshire in FEBRUARY.I didn't nearly drown that time but I did fall on some ice down into the canal on the way back from the pub.

The locals were the strangest people I've ever met in my life, they also bought me pints of Barley wine and I had no idea how strong it was.

We left the parafin heater on all that night and got sick with the fumes. We had also travelled way , way, too far down the canal to get back in daylight , so we travelled through the pitch black night. The others stayed snug below while I was at the front frozen to death holding a torch and a bottle of whiskey and shouting directions to my cousin who was steering at the back. A freezing fog had descended combining with the black night to give zero visibility. We seriously annoyed all the bargees moored up and asleep, the engine slowed to less than half it's normal pace because nobody had listened to the boat hire man telling us to keep it topped up with water. We sailed(?) at less than a snails pace through the long night but got back too late for the morning check-in deadline and had to pay extra. Least he never checked the engine.

I realised then I'd left my wallet with train tickets and house keys back in the pub. My cousin had a car , it was only a 2 seater but he gave me and Miss EEjit, sitting on top of me, a lift back to the pub.The Landlord (Fair play to him and the people drinking with us who found them) had given my wallet and keys to the police station. So we drove there and hid the car around the corner as we didn't want the Police to see three of us getting out of a 2 seater car. The friendly policeman explained that all lost property is taken to the police station in the next village, that he was heading there and we were to follow! So we dawdled hoping he wouldn't notice what car we got into, but he kept coming back, it was like something out of Mr Bean. Then eventually he fecked off and got into his car and we followed him from as far back as human eyesight would allow us, again hoping he didn't twig. We got away with it, I think he did notice us all piling out of the tiny car (Fiat x1-9) but either felt sorry for us ,or couldn't be arsed. Anyways my cousin drove us back to the train station but I'd missed the train I needed to be back on time for work. Already on a warning for always being late, I asked the ticket man when the next train was due hoping it would be ten mins, or half an hour at the most, 'Tomorrow' he said.

Never liked that job anyway.