Sunday, December 6, 2009

I've won the $50,000 Ray-Ban performance prize for poetry! Yippee.

Here's my winning entry.... Sunglasses(A performance poem)

Sunglasses the enigmatic chic for the masses
of people that buy them
Men will make passes at girls
Who wear sunglasses
What mystery do we hide behind them
Women and men
Insect eyed aliens
Blocking out the sun
Keeping in the mystique
Winter and summer
If you’re the drummer
In a famous band
Or on the beach at St Tropez
Heading to Dunnes stores
In April or may
June or July
When you fly to sunnier shores
Where shades are worn indoors
That’s for the uber cool
Not in Mullingar
In Murphy’s lounge you’d look a fool
I want a giant pair with writing on
Like Lennon,( Jinx not John)
I want a pair mirrored and bright
To cover the bloodshot veins
When I look a sight.
I’m buying them now while they are cheap
Half price winter bargain that I can Keep
Till the Summer comes
Here comes the Summer!
Here comes the Summer!
Here comes the Summer!
Ooh Baby,Baby what can I do
You know you drive me crazee
when I'm looking at you......
Through, through, through,
my sung glasses.

I'm going to use it as my next 'Poem in a shop', poem. I'm spending the 50 k on mulled wine , corn plasters, and a donation to 'Save the Dingo'


ArtSparker said...

I like it. It is quite a compendium, a reminder of summer, a disquisition on cool, and a surprise for some lucky person.

Continuing to be inspired!

Jeanne Iris said...

Congratulations, TFE! What does that equal in euros? About fifty cents? ; )

Love this shadey poem, tho! A concept one could really get behind. I could see this put to music as the background for a sunglasses ad.

Had to break out the shades today to protect the eyes from sun-on-snow glare.

Liz said...

Could do with finding a poem like this on my top shop shelf...would take the pinch out of shopping.
Wise choices on spending the money ...had some mulled wine last night, did the cinnamon stick and dashes (well lashings!) of brandy recipe...nice for going to one's head...talking of such, this poem has a certain buzz, TFE, like where it takes me. Brava!

Titus said...

Not a duff line in sight, and I ain't wearing sunglasses!

Congratulations on the win. I would advise against saving the dingo. They steal babies. Or do they? Lindy, tell all!

English Rider said...

Gosh! If I were not wearing my shades I would have been blinded by the Glory of it all.

willow said...

Seriously?!! Wow!!! Congratulations, Eej!!!

Argent said...

That's a great pome and the prize committee were very wise to award you the 50k. I think Save the Bingo might be a better choice though as I hear there are now packs of post-menopuasal women rampaging in the streets as a result of the closure of Bingo Halls across the land. These mad old biddies are a danger to us all so, for Gooodness' sake, SAVE THE BINGO!!

Totalfeckineejit said...

Wheyhay thanks Sparkey! Disquisition on cool? I likes it!

Totalfeckineejit said...

€3.50 Jeanne, but it's amazing how many Dingos can be saved with that.
Lovin that snow Jeanne.Will it stay till Christmas?

Totalfeckineejit said...

Thanks Liz. I like the sound of that mulled wine recipe,wonder how much I could make with 50K and would I have enough left for a mince pie after that and saving the Dingos? Feck the corn plasters!

Totalfeckineejit said...

No Titus, they don't steal babies but they do occasionaly hold up sub post offices.We try to keep this quiet in the save the Dingo foundation.We're currently running a world wide appeal in several different languages, the tag line being 'You can save the Dingo in any lingo' Kind of catchy n'est ce pas?

Totalfeckineejit said...

Ah, yes , English rider,I am bathed in it!

Totalfeckineejit said...

Actually Willow,there is no such competition, but if there were,I'd be right up there.I am however, still in the running for The Nobel Poetry Prize, so fingers crossed for that one!

Totalfeckineejit said...

Thanks for that argent, and you have moved me to tears with the sad plight of bereft Bingoless Biddies.I'm extending the campaign to 'Save the Dingo and also Bingo'

Karen said...

Hmmm...seems like the last performance I saw from you involved reading glasses, a weird green mask, and Mrs. Eejit, at whom you've no doubt made passes with and without your glasses! Fun poem that makes me wish for summer!

Niamh B said...

It is definitely bar none the best sunglasses performance poem in aid of a good cause that I have ever seen.

Ooh Baby,Baby what can I do
You know you drive me crazee
when I'm looking at you......
Through, through, through,

such moving words - I could almost see it as a song... congratulations, and can't wait to see the shop that this ends up in :-)

Elisabeth said...

For a minute there I took you absolutely seriously.

Congratulations anyway. It's a terrific poem. It reminds me of one of my favoutrite australian writers who has recently won a $AU60,000 prize in fact for his writing. He wrote an essay called: I have never worn sunglasses

Quite the opposite of you.

Rachel Fox said...

One to sing perhaps. Or rap even (don't cringe!) over some cheesey summer tune.

Heather said...

Congratulations TFE and I like the poem. Still haven't decided on which shop to put my poem, so I can't write it yet. I've just had to type 'despoiar' in the word verification box - does this mean the deepest kind of despair or something quite different?

the watercats said...

I guess the future's so bright you gotta wear shades?....
man!.. whaddaya gonna do with all the moneeee deeeooode? could you send us some luck?
I like this more than I like sunglasses.. sunglasses annoy me because I have wonky ears and they never sit straight... plus they draw attention to my HUMONGOUS snout.. I'm one of the beautiful ladies who are against sunglasses. I like poems about them though..

what's summer?

Totalfeckineejit said...

Thanks, Karen, but mask? What mask?

Totalfeckineejit said...

Thanks Niamh ,and yes the poem does have The Undertones of a pop song methinks.

Totalfeckineejit said...

Yes ,Rachel, I might have a go at singing it.Could be a Christmas No 1 despite the Summer Undertones.

Totalfeckineejit said...

Thanks ,Elisabeth. It's good to know that my blog pals think it possible I could win such a thing.Which of course I could, very easily. ;)

NanU said...

Too Cool!

Totalfeckineejit said...

Too kind!

Dominic Rivron said...

Good one. I buy glasses when they're cheap - because I keep sitting on them. It doesn't do them any good. :)

Totalfeckineejit said...

Hello Dominic,Join the club I'm forever breaking sunglasses, particularly in the car, so i never pay more than €5.

Niamh Griffin said...

Congrats! Don't spend it all in one place.
I love my sunnies but feel like a fraud wearing them in Ireland. It's like they're something for other people but here we should just squint and wait for the clouds to come back over!