Especially on a Corfu beach.
The right answer as guessed by Weaver ,Beedlemama, argent and almost by Domestic Oubliette who changed her mind at the last minute, is No 10. My real age is NOT 48. All the rest are true.
1) TRUE...... I put a 4 inch scar on my left arm to be cool and impress Miss EEjit. I'm not and it didn't.It also gained me the unfortunate nickname of ' Action Man ' for a while as the boys toy had exactly the same scar. Doh!
2)TRUE..... Carling Black Label tastes like cat's wee.I tried it once (carling, not cats wee) and haven't been desperate enough in it's company to try it again. (Luckily there has always been harpic or domestos available.)
3) All TRUE but I hated Rugby, scared shitless of being tackled I scored a try every time I got the ball.
4) TRUE... Love is a temporary madness, you have to stretch it out.
5) TRUE.....But the beach was deserted except for Miss EEjit.Did enjoy it though.Highly recommended.
6) TRUE.. attacked by skinheads at least once, you don't always get time to quiz the assailant, sometimes (this time) you are sure( no 1 haircuts, ten hole cherry red Doc's beneath cut-off jeans, right wing tattooos, Ben Sherman button down shirts, red braces ,yellow National Front laces, limited but effective vocabulary, serious intent to do harm )
Was also attacked by two youths with a half brick to the head, amazingly it didn't even hurt which kind of disarmed them.
Mrs EEjit threw the ham at me (a great shot) and so that's how I know it was 3lbs, I'd bought it earlier in Tescos .Really took me by surprise, knocked me half off the stool I was on. We had it later for dinner, lovely! She also tried to brand me (at a later date) with an electric iron but I was saved by the cheapskate short length Morphy Richards flex.
7) TRUE.. my accent/voice is so awful I try not to speak at all, choosing instead to communicate by meaningful looks , body language, telepathy and hieroglyphics.
8) TRUE... I really wanted the gravedigger job and was really disappointed.
9) TRUE...Was thrown clear and the bike went across the road under an oncoming car.
10) FALSE I am not 48 years old