Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Socks and drugs and rock and roll!

Tis Poetry Bus time once more. Many thanks to Her Royal Bugness for drivelo so brilliantly last week and for all the great passengers, whose poems I really enjoyed. Twas a good crop methinks.

Anyways tis the turn for newbie driver 120 socks. (Round of applause)An interesting blog name,apparently 120 is (on average) the number of single socks a person will lose (not wear out) in their lifetime.
Other unrelated but equally interesting statistics are that we will eat, on average, in our lifetime, 535kg of salt, 4,675 bananas, 10,431 loaves of bread and 16 Brussel sprouts.
We will drink 5 olympic sized swimming pools of alcohol (surely that's in a week?)
We will (on average) sleep for 35 years and be in the toilet for 5 years (but not in one session)
4 years and six months of that five years in the toilet will be spent doing a poo.(Not the one poo, several poos, thousands of them. Fifteen thousand seven hundred and fifty nine of them to be exact. That's a lot of poo.I'm not sure if that includes Diahrrea, maybe that doesn't count as a poo? I always think of a poo as being solid. I'll delve into it and let you know. Statistics are important you have to get them right, put a bit of effort in, especially when it comes to poo. It's no use just going through the motions for the crack and making an arse of yourself.

So, on to this weeks bus driver. 120 socks loves to walk backwards to see where she's been, in fact she is the current world walking backwards world record holder (20 metres)and has developed and patented special rearview forward view backwards mirrors that attach to your forehead using a system of steel girders, pulleys, suction cups and superglue.A little awkward in size Socks is hoping to develop a lightweight system that can be lifted by one person and fitted into the boot of a car.
An all-round athlete Socks enjoys knitting,scrabble,cheese rolling, sky diving,scuba diving, monkey wrestling,base jumping, mountaineering,politician baiting,badger fondling,skipping, and standing on one toe (someone else's)

Get thee gone to the land of socks and get writing.


Heather said...

Love the statistics Peadar - someone is definitely getting my share of alcohol but then, I am probably eating all 16 brussels sprouts.

Louise said...

How did you know about the toe? Thanks for my learner info TFE, I feel so much more a whole person!!!!

Dave King said...

I am back now - yours was one of the b logs my old computer gave up on (my post for Feb 11th). Hope to be landing here more often from now on .

Lydia said...

Just saw THIS FUN ITEM while browsing online shopping sites and thought of you. If you do not own one, you probably should!

Totalfeckineejit said...

Swap you a sprout for a pint , Heather?

Totalfeckineejit said...

Glad to be of service socks!

Totalfeckineejit said...

Haha! Thanks Lydia.I'm hoping to make TFE mugs to compete!

izzy said...

Absolutely love statistics when I am not expected to graph them! -yours would be interesting to do tho- Thanks!

Kat Mortensen said...

Only YOU could write about poo so eloquently, TFE.
I think Socks should go on "The Amazing Race". With all of those aptitudes, and her already-developed walking backwards skills, she would be sure to win!