Saturday, February 13, 2010


Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day?

(Thou art dull ,wet, disappointing and prone to greenfly.)

Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?

(Two minutes my love, I'm in the bathroom with the hemorrhoid cream.)

Tis better to have loved and lost (your cherry) than to never have loved at all.

Without love ,the rich and the poor live in the same house

(But the poor will do all the work)

If you love something, let it go, if it comes back to you it's ...(probably shite. or a frisbee)

Two souls with but a single thought, Two hearts that beat as one
(Must be Jedward)

A wise girl kisses but doesn't love, listens but doesnt believe, and leaves before she is left (with Arthur Miller.)

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

(Absinthe makes the heartbeat flounder)

If I had a flower for every time I thought of you, I could walk in my garden forever (and save on the electricity bill.)

You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.

(you're also probably on drugs)

She walks in beauty, Like the night of cloudless climes and starry skies; And all that's best of dark and bright. Meet in her aspect and her eyes.

(I've seen her aspect and it's lovely)

Within you I lose myself. Without you I find myself wanting to become lost again.

(I'm in love with the maze at Hampton Court)

Gravity is not to blame for two people falling in love.

(nor , probably, for the apple that fell on yer head, y'EEjit!)

When Death to either shall come -- I pray it be first to me!

(I'm sick of the sight of ye!)

It's easy to halve the potato where there's love.

(Feck it , we'll have chips tonight)

O my Luve's like a red, red rose

That’s newly sprung in June:

but they're selling bunches In Tesco's now

and they cost a pretty tune (€39)

As fair art thou, my bonnie lass,

So deep in luve am I:

but when I see what Tesco charge

I fair begins tae cry

I'm looking fer a cheap Scottish Rose

not some supermarket Sassenach

this global thorn gives me a pain in me hole

or as I should say, my crack.

To me the Tesco Rose does seem

so expensive , pale and foreign

I think I will jus stay at home

and fiddle with me sporran.

To all you Lovers out there I wish you a very happy Valentines day, Frangipani and Ralgex, red roses and creme de menthe, maltesers and merlot, bleep and booster,slap and tickle, cheese and pickle,beer and sandwiches, love and laughter, hand in glove, smitten with mitten, all in all, rhyme and reasons to be cheerful part three.

The POETRY BUS is RED for PASSION, for LOVE, for HEARTS DESIRE, for €3 cheap day saver return, no unrequited journeys, this Bus is home, is safety, is sanctuary, is peace and love ,is far out man, a diesel-free poetry-powered freedom mobile . All aboard, get on board, all aboard with the double deckers, tell your friends you've been writing for a double decker poet bus! Pip ipoi and alls that, to infinito and beyondicus!


Rachel (Hounds of love) Fox

Crazee for lyin crazee for tryin crazzee for lovin you!

Jeanne, Love is a revolution, Lakatos

Amorous Argent

Wooing Watercats

Loving Liz

Hugging Heather

Necking Niamh

Bonking Barbara Smith

Erogenous Emerging Writer

Petting Poetikat

Dating Dominic Rivron

Wolf whistle Willow


WheehHaayy Weaver

Love me tender Titus

Passionate Pure Fiction

Automatic Lover Uiscebot

Panting P Nolan

Molten Moira

Smoochin Swiss

Kissin Karen


Dr. Jeanne Iris said...

OMG, TFE! Those were so funny! I think I like the Absinthe one the best.
♥ Happy Valentine's Day! ♥

wv: drinc: ~ up!

ArtSparker said...

Alpha Doggerel.

Liz said...

It's got 'umph' and it's got love...what more can a body ask for? Well donners, TFE! And happy Valentino's to you...(love poem coming up ...even if a bit rough and drafty!

The Weaver of Grass said...

Shall be at the bus stop in the morning with my pathetic offering. Oh what a jaundiced view of love you portray in today's blog eej - still it made me laugh on this dull Sunday morning when I have yet to clear the breakfast table. Pity it isn;t spring weather really, although the birds seem to think it is - and maybe the young men too - they say:

In Spring a young man's fancy
lightly turns to things he has been thinking about all winter.

Ah, nothing changes, does it.

Anonymous said...

Hi EEjit
thank so much for including me and for everyone's lovely comments, I was overwhelmed when I logged on this morning. I have been reading a lot of poetry recently by these are my first real attempts at putting pen to paper (metaphorically of course:-) since childhood.
thanks to everyone for sharing, both the poetry and the inspiration
crazy field mouse

Lorenzo — Alchemist's Pillow said...

Funny stuff, TFE. Hard to was poetic about hemorrhoid cream ...

Argent said...

I laughed my socks off! My effort is up now here.

Batteson.Ind said...

well mr eejiting!.. we can see you're on a rum run :-)
Fantastic poetting, love the ironic twists, isn't that what valentines day is really all about?.. anyway, have a good fat romantic one! Have a poem up for your bus to pick up :-)

Liz said...

Got one! Well, just about...

(here's to hearts in the one too! : ))

Heather said...

I'm still laughing at this post - you mad Irish bard!! I'm off to post my gentle, elderly offering right now - just looking for my bus pass.

Niamh B said...

Enjoyed those quotes hugely, thanks Mr, am all aboard now - here's my ticket.


Titus said...

See you Monday. When I've stopped laughing.

Susan at Stony River said...

Now THAT'S my kind of Valentine's celebration, right there! I used to look forward to Valentine's Day and loved it so much...then i got married. Pffft.

The Tesco verse had me laughing out loud.

Emerging Writer said...

Frankly my dear, there aren't enough poems about sporrans.

Anyway, my love poem has sneezed its way onto my blog. Enjoy.

Anonymous said...

I knew I could count on you Eejit. Happy Valentine's day.

Unknown said...

I'll show you mine, if you show me...

Moira said...

Very very funny, I like the sporran one best!

Anonymous said...

happy valentine's day!

Kat Mortensen said...

We both had a good laugh at your interpretation of love-lines, TFE.

My poem is now up here:


Tess Kincaid said...

My ticket is up and posted! Have The Bus swing by the manor and pick me up!

rallentanda said...

I found the reference to sporran fondling a little too intimate.
Mine's up

Getting Ready For French Lessons

The Weaver of Grass said...

Caught the bus early today eej - pretty chilly waiting at the bus stop - glad you provided the hot toddy! Two poems published on my blog.

Titus said...

I'm on board TFE! And here's me thinking I was on time!

Pure Fiction said...

Seriously affecting - I'm wiping away a tear or two as I type. I've just put my poem up - hope I'm not too late

Colm Keegan said...

Here's my extra weird offering. I love you all :) Muah.

Colm Keegan said...

Here's mine (don't think i pasted it into my last comment)

Tess Kincaid said...

Okay, why I am the only one on The Love Bus holding a stinkin' piece of taxidermy?

Padhraig Nolan said...

Belated love to all the passengers! I'm out of breath, but finally onboard;

Moira said...

Did you forget my poem Eeej? I am wounded, deeply...aargh! gurgleee

Dominic Rivron said...

Surely the victory of Irish literature over the Scottish article. Burns eat your heart out. :)

swiss said...

fouled right at the mouth of the goal! stretchered off but returns at the last stroke of extra time....

Karen said...

Hey, TFE! I wondered why you hadn't been around, and now I find the bus must have run over my comment and squished it flat! Anyway, I have been standing by the side of the road with my thumb out since Monday! Bring that bus my way!

It's Rock Band Love!!