Saturday, December 19, 2009


Yes folks, The Poetry Bus is back for a one-off Christmas special. Einstein is still working on the official bus, So Santa Claus has kindly offered to help out. Many thanks to the fat beardy one.Obviously he's fairly busy, so get your poems written before Christmas Eve as he needs the go Kart for an around the world trip.

Due to government cutbacks Santa's magnificent sleigh is in a shed in Carlow and has been replaced by a four wheeled plank of wood.

All Santa's reindeers: Rudolph ,Splinter ,Horsey ,Donna ,Spritzer ,Slasher, Dave, Dee ,Dozy, Mick and Titch ,or whaever they're called ,are all on various high class supermarket shelves this year.Yummy, but expensive.

Anyways why don't you, yes YOU, I'm talking to YOU reading this, write a poem for Christmas and post it on your blog before DEC 24th? Let me know by leaving a comment in my comments box and I will publish links to all the poems to make a magical Christmas poetry mystery tour aboard Santa's plank. Ho ho ho - hic!
(Thanks to Argent for the nudge!)

Here's mine to get the plank rolling.

This Christmas we

Stretch the fabric of life
Buy kerosene by the gallon
Cut washing up sponges in two
Surf supermarket car parks
For the abandoned trolley’s
Shiny reward
We raid jam jars
Pluck gold from sofa, armchairs,
old coats trousers and dusty drawers .

We drink brought-home Spanish Brandy
from other people’s holidays.

We mend
We contract
Cut back
Shrink and save.

We winnow
but keep it all
We are not yet old
Not yet finished

We reduce
reuse recycle
We cope we survive
in first world luxury
Rejoice in hope
And are glad

Did I tell you there are free mince pies (warmed) with double cream, glasses of Baileys ,mulled wine and when we all get a bit merry, food and carol singing around the open fire in the castle?

First aboard is Kat

Prof Jeanne
and also here



Carmen (Carmen has a few Christmas poems posted if you scroll down her blog)

Uiscebot ( Mr RTE ,Colm Keegan)

Emerging Writer


(Totally) Mad Aunt Bernard


Rhyming Rachel Fox

Mrs Niamh

Peter Goulding (Has a few-poems not drinks!)

(The great) Lesser Weavil

Sandra (I like Turtles) Leigh

Jane Moxey

Dominic (Yorkshire chainsaw massacre) Rivron

Heather (Feed the birds)

Liz (she's a right miracle) Gallagher


The Wonderful Weaver of Grass

Science girl NanU
and also

The mighty pooch Titus

The multi talented singing Watercats

Granny Sue

(See the wood from the trees with) Phoenix C

(Do not forget) Domestic Oubliette

(There's no stopping) Lesser Weevil



Liz said...

woo-hoo! TFE, I feel the stirrings...might actually leap aboard Santa`s plank, if I don't knock myself out first... (re: facebook...porridge and whiskey?...(poteen maybe but never uisce beatha...)) : )

re:poem: like the list of the 'desperate' ways in one go in first verse...great use of 'winnow' and like how rejoice and gladness sets in at the end in what seems like one simple breath draw, legs outstretched and Christmas got me TFE, good stuff.

word verification agrees with return of poetry bus/go-cart: 'wowhic' ; )

Totalfeckineejit said...

Thanks , Liz.Get on board, yer at your grannie's, have a go!
Wowhic, might be my new favourite word!

Dominic Rivron said...

Good one. Great list. (Is cutting washing up sponges in two actually economical? One could experiment).

I'll get my thinking cap on.

Kat Mortensen said...

"We winnow" Now that's a great line!

I felt like I'd fallen asleep and reawoken between the pages of a McCourt.

Have you tried the dryer? I once found a twenty in mine. It went straight to important stuff, like chocolate and wine. (We have our priorities around here!)

So glad the go-kart is available for the trip, TFE. I'll be hopping on soon. My dad made me a go-kart once. It was a beauty! It even had a swivel at the front so I could make turns. Grand!

Kat Mortensen said...

I hit the ENTER button before I got to say I loved the piece, Peadar.

ArtSparker said...

I like that, yes, satisfaction within the limitations...a joyful plateau.

Tess Kincaid said...

Gosh, I think a lot of us can relate to this one, Eej. I lik3 that opening line and how you related to fabric through out the piece, mending, searching coat pockets. Love it. LOVE it!!

I've got a hugely busy week with a house full. If I can find a bit of solitude, I might give it a go.

Kat Mortensen said...

Mine's done and posted!

Heather said...

I love that Santa TFE and will see what I can come up with.

Dr. Jeanne Iris said...

Had too much uisce beatha t'other night....I'm drying out 'til Christmas. Ah, but that Baileys sounds divine! Will definitely post on my blog. With all this snow as inspiration, should be fun. Thanks, TFE!

LOVE your poem! The 'plucked gold' is tres cher!

P.S. How do you get that snow to fall on your blog? Nice effect, TiFfEe!

Dr. Jeanne Iris said...

Okay, I posted on my iconicrealism blog. The R.Revelry poem will go up later. Thanks, TFE!

Totalfeckineejit said...

Thanks Dominic.And yes, after exhaustive tests under laboratory conditions (Mrs EEjit's kitchen)cutting washing up pads in two has been scientifically proven to make them last twice as long.Try it!

Argent said...

Yahoo and chocks away! Not chocs away, mind, that would be madness. I'll be clambering aboard as soon as a light dusting of inspiration setlles on my empty noggin.

Totalfeckineejit said...

Swivel fronted go Kat Kart? Neat!
Seen Winnow used a few times now (first by Nuala Ní Chonchúir)so I've stolen it cos I liked it.

Totalfeckineejit said...

Nice and neat summary, Sparkey.Thanks

Totalfeckineejit said...

Thanks Willow.Throw them all out for an hour or so and send us a Christmas poem!

Totalfeckineejit said...

It's ok ,Jeanne Baileys is only a pudding really.
I can't remember/find where I got the snow from ,some widget place.Could try sending you the code though?

Totalfeckineejit said...

Thanks Heather,go for it!

Argent said...

And, being empty of head, I forgot to say that the poem was a cracker too!

Totalfeckineejit said...

Thanks Argent and looking forward to that.Chocs away? Such a waste as you say,but an empty noggin- much worse!

patricia said...

I want to get a little merry in that castle and listen drowsinessly those lines of your poem, I liked it. "We winnow but keep it all" words are melted in such interesting way.

Kat Mortensen said...

I propose a Trans-Atlantic prearranged, concurrent toast of whatever's yer poison sometime this week in honour of Christmas and the great Totalfeckineejit! What do you all say? Can we do it?


Tess Kincaid said...

Okay, Eej! Mine's posted. Tell Santa to swing by and pick me up in that go-cart of his!

Karen said...

I do believe, I do believe! I just want to let my solstice/birthday poem stand for a while. If I can't ride, at least I can run alongside and read, read, read!

Niamh Griffin said...

I love the snow! Looks great ... and bribing writers with alcohol is always a good idea - prepare for poems!

RNSANE said...

I've already posted several of mine at: Carmen's Chronicles at

The new one written this December is:
*Waiting to See Santa

I've posted others since I only started blogging in September and my new friends haven't seen my other holiday poems. Also on my blog are:

*Christmas Gifts
*A Very Special Tree
*Missing You at Christmas
*Holiday Greetings

Colm Keegan said...

Nice tight poem TFE...geddit!

Here's mine.

Emerging Writer said...

OK. I'm on board. May I have my mince pie with brandy butter please? Perhaps made with the Spanish bottle brought home from other people's holidays. I have some myself.

Terry said...

Ok TFE here's mine better late than never

Dr. Jeanne Iris said...

Hey TFE, just posted "Snow and Wind" on my other blog:

Still can't make that magic snow appear on my screen, tho. Oh well, I'll just enjoy yours, TiFfEe. : )

Mad Aunt Bernard said...

Ho! Ho! Ho! I've got my homework done at last!! There is one poem from a family member and one from me on my blog. If you mark it like wot teachers do, it has to be in red pen and no I won't do lines if it's not any good :-)

The Weaver of Grass said...

Phew! nearly missed that go-cart - would have done if Dominic hadn't given me a push. I have a bad hip at present so found it pretty hard to jump even on to a go kart - but I am on and writing!! Anything for a Baileys or two and a mince pie - or two.

Niamh B said...

Great Stuff TFE - think this one might miss me out, but likin the brought home Spanish Brandy... mmm brandy

Batteson.Ind said...

Your poem has just described exactly our christmas situation, lol... must be a global thing. Shall definately endeavor to make a christmas poetry contribution.. if my braincells play along (they're doing a pretty good job of acting dead these days)...
A poem might be just what's needed

rallentanda said...

I've written a poem called
'Xmas Tale for the Big Kiddies'
Not many people know that Santa has a drinking problem and a girlfriend called Calypso.

Rachel Fox said...

I have a new Xmas poem this year. It's here.
Off to read the others now.

Niamh B said...

couldn't stop myself... - all aboard now

Peter Goulding said...

I have a whole blog on Christmas poems
Does this count or do you want me to write another one by Thursday?

Mad Aunt Bernard said...

forgot to say, old bean, the poem is spiffing. love it! especially the bit about drinking spanish brandy from other peoples holidays.... toodle pip!

swiss said...

winnow. top verb!

The Lesser Weevil said...

I made it!! I thought I'd missed the bus/sleigh. Well here's my totally miserable scrooge-like effort. It makes me sound such an old crank, but I truly DO believe that the best Christmas is small, cosy, quiet and homely.

Here's my link:

Have a truly lovely Christmas!

Kat Mortensen said...


My best wishes to you and your family for a very Merry Christmas!


Jane Moxey said...

Well TFE, I've had a bit of a go at a poem. It's a first attempt.

Sandra Leigh said...

I'm in, TFE - Happy Solstice to you, and Merry Christmas! Thank you for getting that sleigh on the road.

Jane Moxey said...

Mr. Eej - I thought I posted here about creating a little effort for Santa's Poetry Go-Kart. But maybe with the time change between us, you haven't got to it yet! It's me first try at the poetry writing, so be gentle with me, please.

Dominic Rivron said...

My contribution is posted here,

Unfortunately, it popped out as a piece of flash fiction - not a poem. Thankfully, though, the passengers are a broadminded lot, as I remember.

Great to see the kart rolling!

Heather said...

Just jumped aboard the Go-Kart with my offering. A bit trite but very sincere.

Liz said...

TFE, just about managed to throw myself onto the go-kart...(nearly missed it as had been waiting for a sleigh) my Penneys mittens and winter woolies all wrapped nice and tight...can't wait to land at the castle, hope kettle is on for hot whiskeys...can smell the cloves from here.
Get the logs burning and the throat cleared, TFE, got a feeling we'll be caroling well beyond mid-night mass.

Here's a sortof poem:

About to do a quick cyber nip to read poems.
cheers TFE.

Argent said...

I'm in! My Go-Kart/Poem in Shops is here.

The Weaver of Grass said...

Thought I wasn't going to make that go-kart - but have managed it, so bring on the hot mince pies and the drop of the real stuff (with the e between the k and the y) and let's party. Happy Christmas to you all.

NanU said...

Me!me!me! I'm leaping on this go-kart with a lightweight 1st effort and something meatier (I hope) tomorrow. Hooray for the Poetry Purveyance!

NanU said...

And it's not a poem, but in keeping with a certain twisted holiday spirit there's this:

Titus said...

I made it TFE! I'm on the Go-Kart and waiting for the off!
Merry Christmas and the joys of the season to you all!

Batteson.Ind said...

two for one!.. poetry assignment; *tick
special christmas song;
drunken night in;
all well.... HAPPY CHRISTMAS MR AND MRS EEJIT (and any et al's)
Cheers for all the inspiration and jol :-D

Raph G. Neckmann said...

I love your poem, TFE! Please can I print it out to stick on our kitchen wall at Necky Knoll House?

Thanks for the url for the snow. It was Maureen who wanted it - I'll give her the web address, and see what happens! (We've plenty of salt and grit here, so we should be OK - if you can only see our necks sticking out over the top of drifts, come and rescue us! :)

(BTW - I cannot see your snow on your blog now - did you use the electronic Head n Shoulders on it?)

Granny Sue said...

Adding mine to the list, TFE! Thank you for the opportunity to read all these poems. I enjoyed your poem--well said.

Phoenix C. said...

Hello TFE - I very rarely write poetry, but was inspired to write this earlier in the year, and thought I'd join in your Santa's Go-Kart with a Winter Solstice theme!

Your poem is brilliant, and very warming. (I've been cutting up washing-up sponges for years, but to use for painting!!)

Domestic Oub said...

Finally, I'm in.

The Lesser Weevil said...

Sorry TFE, but I've caught the Go-Kart Bug: Here's another one ...

* said...

Sweet poem with some crisp imagery and word choice.

Fab communal poetry idea. Why didn't I think of this?!

Sadly, I'm a little late to the writing bit of the party. Boo. There's always next time.

swiss said...

no danger i'm missing this. mine'll be up before work tonight without fail!

Dr. Jeanne Iris said...

Beautiful header photo, TFE! Is that the River Liffey?

Totalfeckineejit said...

Thanks a million everyone, some brilliant poems and I will look back on them again Christmas time next year.You all is de best!

And yes Jeanne, new header is the whiffy Liffey!