Sunday, November 21, 2010

More bloody misery!


Those of a disposition that (quite rightly) renders them pissed-off with maudlin self-pity and gratuitous self indulgence of the 'woe is me kind', please look away now.

I tried,I really tried to do uplifting, or happy, or beautiful but as soon as I looked at the myriad poetry skies of opportunity they turned black and it pissed down. Three times I tried and failed.I even tried using my imagination but that's like using a bottle opener to bake bread.

Anyways IT'S POETRY BUS TIME!! And there will be nicer and better poems by other passengers
HERE

And If YOU haven't already done so BUY THE POETRY BUS MAG it's bloody brilliant and stocks are running low.


Here's my tickets for Enchanted Oaks bus. Don't read them all, just browse and put something vague in the comments, in fact don't read any of them, go and do something more interesting. Or visit the other passengers.

I am


Broken.

Not fragile,

what doesn’t kill you,

makes you die a little each time.

Sheltered but homeless.

Worthless.

The entirety of my experience.

Not the worst person I could be.


Rich enough to break no law,

Poor enough

To appreciate it.

Wise enough

to know the luxury

of choice.


Lacking in confidence.

Suspicious of certainty.

Unforgiving.

In forgiveness.


Able to cry

At the drop of a hat

But not the dropping

Of a bomb


A husband.

A Father.

A Son.

A Brother.

Unqualified.

Running out,

but not out,

of time


A dreamer still.

A survivor so far.

A rebel by answer.

Inadequate by question.

My own best friend.

And worse enemy.

Angry, bitter, twisted,

fearful, hopeful, desperate,

vicious, cruel, unkind,

kind ,gentle, loving.

A new song everyday.



I was


A child.

Unsure.

Unsteady.

Forever young.

Unsung.

Unready.

Unable.

Wasted.


I will be


Someone.

Something.

Someday.

So what


If not ?




(I told you not to read!But look here, if you must, I even started with a happy title, it didn't work.!)



Beautiful Day.


On a day like this,

Snowed-in .

Music floated snowflake-light

Bathed low in winter sun

nurtured warmth, held only love

This big world bright,

shiny-faced skittered

seeds on thawed darkest soil

They painted the blank canvas

And I spattered blood

Crimson cries to earthly hell

Became what I feared

Broke bones like promises

Heard the strings the chorus

My hardened heart a fist

I could kill, I nearly did

this haunts me now

Broken ghosts remember shadows

Seeking the light where I try to shine.





(And this one!! I actually really like our town!)



Our Town

This is the peaceful town

talking up the strangers hand

local garbage round the back

The rats know the craic

Christmas lights line the way

Twinkle tears for

Madtroplis hell

This your day

This our town

Feet grind the pavements

Jaws drop the goss

Dish the dirt

Dirty laundry in public spaces

Dirty dishes in the sink

From last nights Indian

Drizzling rains grease the streets

Greasy tea greasy tills

In the cafes of the lost the lonely

Darkness comes early

To our town

28 comments:

The Bug said...

I have to say that you do misery VERY well. I liked all three of these because they're honest. Even those of us who are a bit of a Pollyanna can relate.

Titus said...

what doesn’t kill you,
makes you die a little each time

A new song everyday.

This big world bright,
shiny-faced skittered
seeds on thawed darkest soil

Broken ghosts remember shadows
Seeking the light where I try to shine.

In the cafes of the lost the lonely
Darkness comes early
To our town

Beautiful lines. Nicer, better? Only one TFE.

Enchanted Oak said...

I want to crack a joke about poets and lightbulbs but I won't.

Angst. The poet's best friend. You're good at whaling away at life. I can't imagine you trumpeting on about how wonderful everything is! like Walt Whitman. You have Peadar's voice.

I don't know what that sad thing at the bottom of everything is, but I have it too. On a perfectly pretty day in my perfectly pretty house in my perfectly pretty town, with my perfectly wonderful spouse and our lovely pets and on and on, I can write a woe poem like THAT. It actually takes me some effort to put a little hope in some of my things.

I think you're liked the way you are.

I don't get the middle poem's situation, but I get its explosion. The town poem is nice and menacing. And the first one covers all the bases of a complicated man. Good work.

Peter Goulding said...

Ah, lovely, lovely woe and misery and despair and unrelenting gloom. Nobody does it quite like you TFE.

Gwei Mui said...

TFE - I loved them all! I AM the most becuase it was raw, truthful and unassuming.

OUR TOWN - perhaps one shoould read it as Every Town - this is where I live!

I really enjoy reading your work you have a grit, a reality, but also a gentleness of touch and expression that reaches out. What you consider to be unworthy I find awesome and wish that I could turn words and bend sentences to my will in the same way that you do.

Rachel Fox said...

Some of us are just not very good at looking in mirrors - it ties us in knots! I like your 'Beautiful Day' though.
x

Niamh B said...

The last two lines of the second one are actually full of hope.

and anyway all the best poems are miserable - didn't you know?

Carolina Linthead said...

I loved these! Of course I am a child of woe myself, so why wouldn't I? But seriously, they are raw and they are you, nobody here can ask for more than that. There is a WWII acronym you likely know: FUBAR. Henceforth in my mind it will ever be "Fecked up beyond all recognition." So glad to know you, TFE, and I'm game to wallow in the mire with you anytime.

Karen said...

Broken, worthless, but not the worst person you could be. That in itself is telling. A dreamer still. That alone may be enough.

the watercats said...

The second poem does the job particularly well for me, but all your words are spot on. dwelling dark and deep is a true poets way isn't it?... never heard of a perfectly content and fuzzy warm great poet.. shine on my friend!
;-)

Heather said...

You are not afraid to look life's grim bits in the face Peadar. I can relate more easily to Nos.1 and 3, probably because I do turn away (or try to) from those grim bits. Three great poems here - you should be proud of yourself.

Kat Mortensen said...

I think I've figured out the problem here; it must be "last night's Indian". It had to have been off and you can't tell through the Vindaloo, can you?

Seriously, thank God you're a poet, Peadar. Catharsis is your saving grace, I believe.

Kat

Dave King said...

I've a poem more full of angst and suicidal tendencies than even that. I wrote it long ago when deep in the Doldrums and I keep looking at it, wondering if I should post it.

None of which helps you, of course. You are where many an ultimately successful artist or poet has been. Keep knocking pal, you have the talent, eventually some lazy sod will stir himself and open the bloody door.

Jeanne Iris said...

Hi TFE, don't know if you received my comment yesterday, or maybe "it didn't meet the blog owner's approval." Anyway, I said something to the effect that you are a true Irish poet!

There was something about the wv, but nothing works with today's wv, so I'll just leave it at that.

Ciao!

Totalfeckineejit said...

I am the most miserable bollix that ever lived Bug!

Totalfeckineejit said...

Only one TFE, Titus? THank feck for that!

But thanks.

Totalfeckineejit said...

Kind words Chris,really, thank you.

Totalfeckineejit said...

Is that a good thing or a bad thing Pete!? ;)

Totalfeckineejit said...

Bloody hell more kind words! THat's so nice Gwei Mui, Thank you!!

Totalfeckineejit said...

Mirrors? AAAAaargghhh! THanks FOx.

Totalfeckineejit said...

I think that might just be the heart of the matter, Nibby, even if it is or isn't true!

Totalfeckineejit said...

Thanks Carolina Linthead, more kind words!!And I'm liking the FUBAR, i shall be adopting that one!

Totalfeckineejit said...

Beautifully put Karen even your comments are like poetry!

Totalfeckineejit said...

GO WATHERFURDKATEENZ!!!

Totalfeckineejit said...

Lifes grim bits , Heather? I'm looking in that mirror again, Am I?

THanks you crafty lady you!

Totalfeckineejit said...

LOve Curry Kato, not had one for ages though!


Thanks!

Totalfeckineejit said...

THanks Dave, when can we see this poem of yours, I'm intrigued??!!

Totalfeckineejit said...

THanks JeannE! (Didn't get the other comment, must be the gremlins!)