Every day is like sunday

Especially when it is.Do not forget under pain of death doom destruction and a Killkenny five in a row, to post your wordy contributions to the internationally renowned and critically acclaimed 'Poetry Monday' a peoples republic of EEjit art in the community project generously funded by Cook's swear box.(Janey Mac, you should hear her give out when she burns her buns!)I'd like to thank NanU (yes Nan U, not Man U, though they did very well on Sat, go-on the reds!) for a creative bloggo award
http://sciencegirltraveler.blogspot.com/

To qualify I have to list seven interesting things about myself, but because I am SO interesting I'm going to name 10.

1)I have webbed feet.And gills.

2) The most famous people we (mrs EEj et moi) have met are Paul Durcan,Pat Kenny,Paddy Moloney,Vivienne Westwood, Anna Friel, Vinnie Jones and Jack Charlton.(Not on the same day)

£)I once appeared as an extra in an episode of Eastenders.

*) I have spent almost half my life in prisons.

%) I hold the world landspeed record for office chair piloting whilst farting and yodelling.
(239MPH on june 3rd 1978 at Bonneville salt flats in the US of A using a detuned Rolls Royce phantom engine and an Argos £99 office chair with high speed nylon castors.Yodelling and farting verified by special remote mounted sound/smell sensors)

6)I was exactly the same person in a previous life.

") I have one wooden leg but two real feet.

@)I streaked on a beach in Corfu

+)The family heirloom is a signed calling card from Countess Markiewicz

10) I am in real life teetotal

I now have to pass this award onto 7 more people, so I pass it on to YOU,yes, you reading this and six others.
Two of the 10 above are true,can you name them ?

What's the word on the street,EEjit?

The word on the street is , positron, a particle of the same size as an electron but with a postive charge .Too much, way too much, negativity in my head heart and soul of late.So now I am an EEjit the same size as a very large electron but with a positive charge and a beer belly.Right, Man and Superman(remember them?) are still on their whirlwind , or gentle breeze, of a worldwide tour and have landed up in Albion,Blighty,England.Though it does look like thewild wild west of Amerikay.Superman found himself in a very cosy situation inded and I don't think he'll ever be quite the same.Thanks a million to Jules for hosting.http://thelawmenjournal.blogspot.com/2009/09/oldown-country-park-end-of-season.html
Don't forget the Monday poem exercise (see previous post).And finally there has been huge demand to know what I look like, literally one request.So specially for you Weaver is a photo taken only a couple of days ago.Isn't it funny how humans come to resemble their dogs?

Lucky number 13 and the next poetry project

Well ,we had 13 poets in the community last week and the same number this week, so I think we'll have another go ,till people lose interest.All 13 pieces this week had one thing in common, they were all ,and I genuinely mean this, total rubbish.Only joking :) Woke you up though!They were all brilliant and all so different.I hope you get a chance to roam around all the blogs, I did and really enjoyed it.The biggest buzz for me ,and I never anticipated this, was the realisation that some of these poems might not have come to fruition but for the assignment. I mean that was the vague hope /aim but I didn't realise how good it would feel.I also think that people who were maybe slightly less happy with their efforts last week, (myself included)were more happy with them this week, that's got to be a good thing? Thanks a million to everyone who joined in,I hope you got something out of the exercise and enjoyed the whole shebang as much as I did.It's nice to read a largish block of work comprised of people from all ages and walks of life that hasn't and may never be published in a book.A few slices from a different flavour of pie is refreshing and wholly relevent. I'm also wondering how long blogs will last,if it is forever we are laying down some varied and interesting snapshots for future generations.I would love to know for example what thoughts my grandparents and great grandparents might have had.Imagine if they had kept blogs!Hitory is often written in black and white by life's winners and thats okay but I'd like to hear other shades of history.Truth has a thousand colours not just two. I'm waffling now so on to next weeks assignment.

1) There is NO time limit for the writing.Just post it on your blog next monday and drop a comment into my comments box.I will post links to all the poems/prose on my blog.

2) Take a piece of music,one you love,one that moves you to happiness or tears.One that takes you back,one that takes you away, or roots you to the spot-whatever

3) Find yourself some peace and quiet, lock yourself away if you have to.I know this is probably impossible for some of you,but try if you can.Relax.Take a glass of wine ,a cigarette, chocolate cake, marmite and gherkin sandwich-whatever floats yer boat, winds you down.Listen to the music on headphones cut yourself off.Listen to the music, over and again if necessary, let it put you in a mood and whatever emotions and thoughts it sparks, write them down,Write a poem straight off if possible,if not just a few lines, words ,thoughts-then turn them into a poem/piece of prose/prayer/ death threat/eulogy/rant/rap/shopping list /song/novel. Whatever comes let it flow,don't think about it too much or try too hard,you can always rework it before you post it. Good luck ,comrades, GO FOR IT.Live long and prosper!

Ps Did I tell you Tipp were robbed? Robed blind!

Pps. There is NO TIME LIMIT on this exercise, particularly not a 5 minute one

When i say go for ' IT ', I don't mean go for ' Information Technology.' In fact go for the opposite.

The Monday Poem

Monday is the new Saturday thanks to te poetry extravaganza.Do we carethat the Weekend is over? Not a jot, for the highlight of the week has arrived.TFE's world famous 'Let's post poetry on Monday coz it used to be the worst day of the week writing academy'( A poetry in the community art project funded by the arts council of the RepubloEEjo)

Quick off the blocks and first out of the starting gate is Dominic (The google king) Rivron. Musician ,athlete,writer.Get ye away to his blog pronto and see if the world is not a better place with a Monday poetry(or prose) injection. post.http://dominicrivron.blogspot.com/2009/09/love-in-cafe.html By the way did I mention that Tipp were robbed, ROBBED.Cats have nine lives and a referee.

Next is scientist,travelist, writerist, nanu. http://sciencegirltraveler.blogspot.com/2009/09/monday-poetry-assignment-observation-in.html

Heather,artist ,craftswoman,writer. http://raggedoldblogger.blogspot.com/2009/09/this-weeks-monday-poetry-homework.html

Next Poet and ex-police Dog (everything you say will be taken down and used in a poem) Titus http://titusthedog.blogspot.com/2009/09/tfes-second-monday-challenge.html

Weaver of words,teacher,learner,Farmer's wife The Weaver of Grass

http://weaverofgrass.blogspot.com/2009/09/little-grey-man.html

Prize winning buskers singer/songwriters,musicians poets The Watercats http://thewatercats.blogspot.com/2009/09/tfeejits-monday-poem-thing.html

Poet,rambler,songwriter Rachel Fox http://crowd-pleasers.blogspot.com/2009/09/monday-poem-community-project.html

Poet painter cartoonist illustrator reviewer P Nolan

http://pjnolan.blogspot.com/2009/05/monday-poetry-cafe-scene-certain.html

Jeanne, professor ,author ,poet, academic,harpist has posted her poem in the comments section but check out her blog at http://iconicrealism.blogspot.com/

Niamh Bagnell, poet, broadcaster, Diva performer type thing.

http://variouscushions.blogspot.com/2009/09/poems-for-community-by-community-about.html

Kate Dempsey ,Emerging (I would argue Emerged) writer, performing Diva and poet http://emergingwriter.blogspot.com/2009/09/in-teepee-late.html

Domestic Oubliette,Poet ,writer,radio star, vegetable gardener, http://domesticoubliette.blogspot.com/2009/09/more-tfe-inspired-poetry_07.html

BT, gardener, craftswoman,photographer,writerhttp://bt-thecraftygardener.blogspot.com/2009/09/monday-poem-crooked-man-and-his-cart.html

And here's mine TFE ,Blogger, alcoholic,photographer,Bon Viveur,Porn Star, Haggis Farmer,Astronaut and Pizza delivery boy.

Reflection of the artist as an old man

Four glasses downed before the rain
has dried on the brim of my hat.
I’m fingering coins in my palm,
praying for the price.
I must be at least seventy,
a body held together by
tight knotted scarf
thin black overcoat
and blacker pints.
A wife dead,
or gone, my children just
a card at Christmas?
In the mirror, I see

a young couple embrace,
such a big-picture background,
so many dark possibilities ,
can our whole lives be painted
in a moment of light?

Fugh it, we're back to miserable monday again...Ooops!

Anxiety gives way to HIGH ANXIETY AAAGGGHHH !!!

Well as hopedLar Corbett stepped up to the mark,Sheflin was quiet,Tipp put it up to them physically, and as predicted Kilkenny stretched the fairness of physicality beyond it's limits, luckily no one is in a hospital bed tonight but it wasn't for a lack of trying from the cats with Seamus Callinan flattened in the first few minutes and young Padraig Maher came close to having his neck broken.The cats fouled with skill and drilled determination and all went largely unoticed or unpunished, but Tipp stood against them and out hurled them.The game was played with savage intensity and was the most exciting final in years.Killkenny went in 2 points up at half time. At this stage last year against Waterford the cats were so far ahead the game was all but won.Tipp needed to come out fighting second half to keep in touch and by feck they did! Right to the last they were 2 or 3 points ahead and in control of the game and with the finishing line in sight, heading for their first all Ireland victory since 2001.It was a miracle ,unbelievable against all odds and an incredible performance.The finest performance I had ever witnesed against arguably the greatest hurling team of all time.But then the world turned, the universe shifted and the dream unravelled, in a moment of madness, Benny Dunne, being fouled by Tommy Walsh ,swung his hurley at the cats head.Instant dismissal and no complaints.Down to 14 men the task deemed colossal before the game now seemed unbearable.But amazingly Tipp kept at it and even went further ahead till total disaster as a penalty decision was given to the cats where no penalty should ever have been on any planet or any stretch of the imagination.But no matter how misguided ,how grossly, catastrophically, cosmically wrong a referee might be, even to the extent of gifting an all Ireland to the wrong team, the ref's decision is final.Shefflin nets the penalty and 14 man Tipp are dead in the water. The previously drowning cats knew they had been let out of the bag .They now had their tails up and smelled victory, Tipp had no heart left and Kilkenny won by 5 points. Congratulations to kilkenny for winning four all Irelands in a row. A tremendous achievement. It is only the second time in the history of the GAA that this has been done.Their win at any cost style and never say die attitude pulled them through today with no little help from the penalty.Finally the greatest irony (and addage) of all- I expressed hope in an earlier post that the best team would lose,thinking I was being smart,well you should always be careful what you hope for.I got my wish. Tipp were by far the better team today.

What's the word on the street,EEjit?

The word on the street peeps is Anxiety.Tipp V Killkenny All Ireland final day and it's RAINING.Tipp hurlers are skillful they pass the ball to hand and won't be suited to wet slippery conditions.The Cats have claws and skill but are glorified Mullekers and will win a doughty dogfight,they play just beyond the the limits of fair physicality and get away with it.They are the better all round team, the greatest team I've ever seen.They are at their Zenith or possibly by one degree starting to wane, on the cusp of the way down.The fall will come inevitably,like all falls there will be no warning but will it be today?Tipp are the pretenders a young team tremendously skilful ,in the ascendency and the team most likely to inherit the Killkenny crown. I'm in bits that I couldn't go but now it's raining it probably would have killed me anyway.Can't wait for the match, I hope Tipp put it up to them physically as they did in the league final, I hope that they win but will be happy if they lose by less than 4 points.Their time will come ,I'm just not sure it will be today but still they have a chance, get stuck in, stay with the cats, Mark shefflin like a limpet, get Lar Corbett into the scoring early,hang in there till the last 10 mins and they might pull it off.Looking forward to the match, don't spare the timber lads Tipp abu!!! And above all else may the best team LOSE

Post modernist Cave Dwellers

Life is a unhappy meal, shrunk to fit,
stick it in the microwave and wait for the bell to go ping.
Toll ? Fuck off!
Them days are gone.

Time to hang up the tweed

The league of poets

Periscope up above the clouds of their egos
Lyrical giants
Standing on the giant chips of their shoulders
Looking for another to cry on
Puffing bluff and bluster
Pipping and sqeaking
About this and that occasionally the other
To thunderous silence back-clapping
Back-stabbing at the league of poetry ball
A grand gala of glasses to lips
On faces from facebook the cult of me
Look look what I can do
The big I am’s in the big top
The poetry circus
The out of town
Clowns coming soon
To a universe near you

THAT AUGUST

That August

We were Spanish dancers,
lonely lovely paintings, colours
smashed across the bar like it was the sky,
our limitless mirror a dirty glass, we locked
hand-in-hand down the dry streets
kicking dust for joy.
Lies left forgotten by our sides,
memories out of our heads,
was this summer real, or as close as we could get?
Hand to head ,to neck, cool white cotton sheets,
happy didn’t even come close to those big stars above.
I loved you more.
Morning was the serenade
Hot Monday mourning,
singing up to the birds silent in the grip of trees-
what a movie this would make!
Who wouldn’t know the reality from this dream
all silver and chains, promises linked, broken,
a scene of right place, wrong time.
But this was not the movies ,how could I say’ I love you’
or anyone, without the streets teeming in rain,
or the tears about to fall ?

Success and next assignment

Well Janey Mac, that went well! Congrats and thanks to everyone who took part.I'm amazed at how good they all were, not only that but how finished most of them were.So much so that I'll skip the rewrite part of the project.As for the zeitgeist element, did they have any common thread of Mondayitus? Well they were all quite different, a feast, a smorgesbord,a cornocopia a veritable Kentucky fried chicken of writing,all different under the same skin.From memory this five mins produced Haiku, prose,streams of conciousness,and totally complete poems(amazing!)Any themes? Again from memory(I must go back and read them all again)Rain, ranting,rhyming.But there was also humour,calm,time or lack of it and thought-or a lack of it!
I hope you all enjoyed it and got either a poem that otherwise might not have been written or the framework of an idea to build on.It would be really cool if you would all(and anyone else) join in with this weeks task which should again be posted next Monday.The idea is to sit in a cafe and write a poem/prose piece about someone else in the cafe.Not everyone will be in a cafe this week so you may have to improvise, workplace(be careful!)train,bus stop(ye can write standing up in the rain can't ye?)supermarket,pub etc etc.If you can't do it at the time maybe bring the person home with you(in your head, not physically-unless they're very attractive)and write at home.Good luck and may your God or lack of God be with you!