'Twill be Valentinos Day on Poetry Bus Monday. Get on board!
Dana Bug , or Penelope Postlethwaite to give her real name, was, at 7ft 10 inches, the world's tallest woman but the pressures of public attention forced her into groundbreaking reductive surgery that should have reduced her down to 5 ft 3 inches.
Unfortunately the aging dyslexic Russian surgeon Dr Sergei Lopitov , misread the calculationss and now Penelope stands just 3ft 5 inches tall. Her emotions have been swung like a pendulum and were the catalyst that sparked her into writing.
Currently undergoing strenuous experimental 'Greenhouse' treatment under military conditions in The Mojave Desert, Penelope is hoping to be an average 5ft 6 by the end of this summer.
Her hobbies included peering into letterboxes and basketball. A keen amateur astronomer Penelope, using only a pair of reading glasses and an empty coke bottle to fashion a telescope, discovered many new planets, galaxies, asteroids and other strange manifestations including a gaseous anomaly emitting from Uranus.
Her ambition is to reach the door handle of the green house.