- So I've been away.I'm almost back, it's toigh in outer space floating in a tin can far above the world, by the way planet earth is blue (with a paisley motif) and there's nothing I can do.
But enchantedio Oakey Dokey hasset us a magnoifico task with 2 amazly pictures so I's got to post sumptin no matter how bad.The standard of the passengos pottery BTW seems to get better each week.I'm gettin out of me depth a bit now. I chose the cool boaty pic above.Deadly savage n'est ce pas amigos?
And aso i'm like totally feckin mad busy the whole time lately and blurging (specially getting round to others) is takening a back seat (ho ho)
Extra also is the pressing urgenco to get The Poetry Bus magazine finally finished.Tis the SUMMER issue FFS and august is wheezing it's way to autumn like a dying fly on a dusty window sill.
Belly to the grindly stone for fatso EEjo.
And another excuse, I has been awa frae the compluterer and I is discovered tha I canno write wi a pen no more.Only the keybored holds the poetrerty key, a kindo quirky qwerty fact.
More alsos is that I begin to realisde I have 2 poems.One whistfull look back at love thingy and the udder a ranty angsty thing, and I keep writing them over and over a million different ways.A two trick pony poet.
So here is the whistful look back at love type thingy mark 36,267. A work in constant progress.
Forget me not.
Like Swifts and Swallows we
were drifters dreaming in a foreign land
speaking the same language
that neither understood
Sweet nut brown beer by the bottle
soft nut brown skin
a slim hand
held mine
Honeysuckle and Jasmine
in full flight we spun
neath dreaming spires
our boat pulled by
the weft and the warp of the water
langrous love
we were the only country we saw
(the past the future
someone else's geography)
seduced by the want of now
and now is all we have to left hold
39 comments:
Who are you trying to fool with this "poetry has deserted me" stuff? I think it found you fully in this poem. Very, very nice!
When and where will you let us know about the Bus Mag?
Miss World? That's a low blow.
Meanwhile, for goodness' sake revel in the glory of your creation. It's not Frankenstein's monster, it's a thing of beauty that is stretching its arms out to embrace the whole world. A bit like, er, Frankenstein's monster.
I love getting out of my depth, and it is the only way to swim.
That said, however, you appear to have done a swallow dive into the deep end. That second stanza is to die for, and I like the last one very much too.
Love the two poems thought. I think I only have one: God, isn't life shit. I'm on mark 36,268.
Now, this comment is missing something; ah yes, a semi-colon.
This left me breathless!
You know that there are only three archetypal poems in the whole recorded history of mankind, right?
Every poem in the known universe is about either:
1. love/loss
2. rage/angst
3. nature
and I have seen a nature poem or two on your blog. So you're batting a thousand.
My unasked-for advice about the PoeTREE Bus is to slap "Premier Issue" on the cover. That's what we did in the magazine biz. Then take a deep breath and enjoy the process of making a dream come true.
Your love poem is fine. I love the boat being pulled by the weft and warp of the water. I like that line about being the only country we saw.
And I have never been able to write a poem under the conditions you describe. But poeTREE has definitely not deserted you.
A wonderful play on words, from Swifts and Swallows (my two favorite birds) to the nut brown beer and the nut brown skin (and "a slim hand held mine" really caught at me) to weft and warp. Your words really play off each other in a soft rhyme way. And I love the line "we were the only country we saw". Beautiful poem in spite of your misleading introduction. Interesting note, however, about the poetry key. I find myself seldom picking up a pencil. Sad in a way.
Hey there TFE - you really are one of those annoying people if this is poetry deserting you then can I please have some too!
There are some aboslute diamond lines in here which really do sparkle
"speaking the same language
that neither understood"
"Sweet nut brown beer by the bottle
soft nut brown skin"
"our boat pulled by
the weft and the warp of the water"
"langrous love
we were the only country we saw"
"seduced by the want of now
and now is all we have to left hold"
These are my favourite lines they are beautiful and bloody brilliant!
Poetry looks like it snuck back in for a few drinks and some make-up lovin'! If this is you without poetree, the rest of us are doomed. Totally couldn't get my sh*t together this week, but at least someone else did - a fine, fine poem.
Hope you enjoyed the time off anyway Eej, and what a return. This poem is lovely, I like how the prompt with a row boat led to so many musings on time. And you should be glad you've two poem types, that's a pretty good range if you ask me!
A lot of the lines shine in this one
"we were the only country we saw" is great.
For god's sake get back into pen and paper though - great for car parks, discotheques, florists, chemists and other places where you mightn't have a computer handy!
Two favourite phrases from this post Peadar - 'wheezing it's way to autumn like a dying fly on a dusty windowsill' and 'a kindo quirky qwerty fact'. They are poetry in themselves.
Forget me not is so poignant and just beautiful. You are too harsh a critic of your own work.
I like 'blurging'...thing I've always liked least about blogging is its name.
x
It is not a bad poem, but not a very good one. I like bits of it.Perhaps they could be salvaged/worked on? I won a prize (a book token) for a poem about bees in the local paper many moons ago.I still write the odd line from time time. I may put some on my newly conceived blog.
Wowiee.There is such sweetness to the poem.
I liked these comparisons very much:
'Swifts and Swallows'
'Honeysuckle and Jasmine'
Last few lines could be weaved into a song:)I am no singer, but oh well who is listening..err well..somebody was...
Oh n btw TFE n poem-poem n TFE...ya'know they go together,they can't be separated:)
langrous indeed. i likes it. must go nap now.
I like romance as well as the next person (even though I'm not very good at CREATING it). You've done a great job of taking us on this intimate journey.
Beautiful poem Peadar - isn't it funny how that boat picture has brought love poetry out of the woodwork - I wonder why?
As to what is monkey musk (as you ask on my blog yesterday) - well it is......erm......monkey musk.
Don't know another name for it - will go and look it up - hang on - Blotched Monkey Flower or Mimulus according to Keeble Martin.
Reciprocated!
our boat pulled by
the weft and the warp of the water
Oh, you are so speaking my language, being a permanently, two way-pulled Piscean of watery inclination!
(BTW 'raiment' is only a posh word for clothes - thanks for your kind comment!)
Like very much the seduced by the want of now - summer punting
Thanklo Karen.Don't worry, I will bombard the world when the mag is out!
'It's not Frankenstein's monster, it's a thing of beauty that is stretching its arms out to embrace the whole world. A bit like, er, Frankenstein's monster.'
Ha ha I likes that Titus!
Thanks Helen, I often have that effect on people as they run away.
Thanks Chris (Enchanted Oak) Good idea for mag, probably will scrap 'summer' issue and just call it numero uno.
Thanks Yvonne.I too love swifts and swallows.They will be heading off from here in Ireland soon and I'll miss them.
Thanks Gwei Mui, you is too kind!
Hope to see your shit next week Argo, if you know what I mean!
Thanks Niamh, but I've forgotten how to hold a pen and I just eat paper.
Hey I liked those bits too Heather.Tee hee!
Thanks Captain Sensible, nice honest words.Get on the bus!
Thankly Foxo, blogging is a horrible word.
Thanks Erratic Thoughts, love to hear you singin!
Sleep tite NanU!
Thanks Bug!
Maybe love and boats go hand in oar, Weaver?
Hey, thanks Jinksy! And thanks too for raiment, hadn't got to the dictionary yet!
Thanks Emerging!
Try it again (FFS).
Oh, this is luverly, TFE. (Mind you, I'm still choking on the dying fly.)
I liked the "nut brown" lines, especially.
Mrs. Eej must be putty in yer hands when you waxes poetical, what?
Kato
"..Sweet nut brown beer by the bottle.." marked the calendar for me. I like this.
Any word on the next task?
Swifts and swallows/ nut brown and rhythm! ( of course boats have it too)
love the way the first two stanzas go
together.
My confusion this week has been
writing versus drawing first thing in the morning... which leads into the other easier ? which 'translates'
better ?
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