Monday, November 17, 2014

IRISH INDEPENDENT NEWSPAPER, BREAKING NEWS:

MAN ATTACKED BY FOX!

An old man was viciously assaulted and mauled and stuff over a period of several hours, possibly weeks, or days or whatever is the longest and most shocking ,by a rabid anarchist fox. George Niceman (86) is recovering at home with a cup of tea after his ordeal. His condition is reported to be 'stable' and his wounds 'not life threatening' despite the vicious nature of the attack. George who was nearly licked to death by the rampant vulpine sounded 'visibly upset' and eyewitnesses could hear his false teeth rattling during the hostage like situation even though they were miles away at the time. 'At one point' said Toby McNobody, 'I thought the fox was going to rip the man's head off and widdle in it.' It was clearly trying to turn the old fucker over on his roof, I mean head.'
Fortunately for George (93) A nice man was in the vicinity of the area and saved George by whirling a rubber chicken and exposing his backside to distract the beast. The lovely Enda Kenny (Taoiseach) said the Fox's behaviour was indicative of something really awful and terrible and we should not tolerate awful terrible behaviour from anyone, specially things in fur coats.
This incredible footage was captured by a passing lion tamer who is used to terrifying animals.

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=650209678350180

(Warning, film is of a graphic nature and may not be suitable for anyone who isn't suitable.)

4 comments:

Heather said...

Truly shocking story, but it had a happy ending! Aaaah! Bless!

A Heron's View said...

I suggest that it would be safer for folk like George Niceman, if Enda Kenny (Taoiseach) and his cabinet were to be put in cages as this would then safeguard everyone involved.

Totalfeckineejit said...

Truly! Shocking! Happy! Ending!
Thank you Mrs Heather!

Totalfeckineejit said...

Clearly Herons have a very clear view!